Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after letting the painters working on my house know that they're more than welcome to use my restroom, I walked outside only to find three of them pissing in my garden. One even aimed for my tomatoes. FML
Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML
Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML
Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML
Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML
Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML
Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML
Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
He must have been peeing for a long time lol
awspinks77 7
Something tells me either the dude was about to piss all over himself, or he was drunk/high, or both. Either way, interesting situation. FYL OP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (32)
sophiilou 19
You must have amazing hearing
Dragon1248 12
More like F the Gnome's Life...
ssnow_fml 20
Sorry OP, I won't do it again...
eddy6965 7
He paid the man for a golden shower. Gnomes are freaks.
Brianna809 17
i guess that really PISSED you off.
Amama_fml 30
Did you scream?
KaneCR 9
Well, Keem deserved it...