Today, I had to explain to my boss that I was late to work because somehow my hand slipped when I was brushing my teeth, and I hit myself in the eye with the brush. I had to remove my contacts, wash my eye, and find my glasses. He didn't believe me, but at least my eye is minty fresh. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process, I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
Today, I accidentally stuck my thumb into my eye and scratched myself just under my eyebrow. I don't know why my hand was anywhere near my eye. FML
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Top comments
cat4651 15
I would think your eye would be a little red and noticeably irritated after that- signs that should prove your story true to your boss!
Yazoo77 16
If that's your first time being late, or you almost never show up late, then I don't understand why your boss doesn't believe you... but if you show up late a lot, I can see where is coming from.
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Comments (40)
Jefffz 13
Do you by any chance live in a pineapple under the sea?
Zgamerz 11
I prefer Wintergreen.
lagreeni 16
Have you met Skyllabeauty1234? "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" You, my dear OP, can make a new friend.
welldammit1 21
That's happened to me before
Ahaddad123 27
So no one thought of spongebob when reading this?? It screams that one episode in a different manner lol
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How do you manage to hit your eye with your toothbrush? My hand has slipped before while brushing my teeth, but never to the extent of it going clear up to my eye.
zmanster 4
Well it does sound fake.
seriouslygrowup 11
I said "YDI" because it sounds like the 5 minutes you spent doing those things were just enough to make you late for work, so it seems you tend to "cut it thin" by getting up too late to get ready for work. What if there was traffic or something else happens that consumes 5 minutes of your time? Late again?
EcoAirWarrior 7
You sound very conscientious so I doubt you've arrived late to your workplace numerous times in which case you shouldn't worry as this one mistake shouldn't besmirch your record and your employer cannot sanction you for one late arrival and the stinging irritation in your eye fades away fairly quickly
amb27 7
I hate it when something unbelievable actually happens and when you try and tell someone what happened they think you're lying... I understand OP it's very frustrating