Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
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Top comments
tingting1 0
oooh yuckk good job on keeping your friend safe though :)
meezer008 0
u sound like a good friend
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Comments (87)
AngelRaven89 0
Good for you OP =) Sure you weren't rewarded very kindly but she probably wouldn't have lived if you hadn't. Life is a reward.
aaaaa2p 0
You should have let her drive home drunk. If she crashed, it would be her fault, not your's.
iwadasn 33
If he knew she was too drunk to drive and could have stopped her, but chose not to, he would be partly responsible for what happened. Maybe not legally responsible, but he would still most likely feel guilty about it.
liveBabylon 0
MM I hope it was nice and chunky :)
aghoogha 0
Op if i were you, i would RUDELY wake her by taking a big shit on her face, and wiping my ass on her lips.. then ill piss in her eye. YDI for taking her home and not raping her :P
meezer008 0
WOW seriously #16?
quiddity 0
Douchebag.
flyboy57 0
you're a good friend. she's lucky to have you!
ibemad_fml 0
bravo for taking her keys tho
T_McGee 0
You foolish man! YDI for not taking advantage of her.
ChelseaGrin112 14
You are a sick jerk.
Einstein714 0
what a nice friend you are
Mx_Rider 6
what a splendid friend you are . dont give up ur bed though lol
Pastor_Rich 0
at least you can forget about that midnight snack