Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
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Top comments
tingting1 0
oooh yuckk good job on keeping your friend safe though :)
meezer008 0
u sound like a good friend
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Comments (87)
DameGreyWulf 1
The price of friendship CB Obligatory "No good deed goes unpunished"
i_got_it 0
thats what you get for not taking advantage of her..
Personalxp3r 0
Then as a punishment, you ****** her while she was still drunk right?
john_bell 0
Well played.
HBubble 3
It was good you took the keys.
metakingt 0
**** her then dump her body outside her house.
Superawesomestev 0
lol. I love drunk.
perdix 31
DC, huh? Were you watching the Redskins play? God, they stink this year! I'm putting a bucket in front of the TV for Monday Night Football.
perdix 31
But they LOST to the Lions! You knew that!! AAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! Get rid of Dan Snyder!
metakingt 0
Rofl, there's always next year.
waddlezizmyname 3
Sucks for you, but you are a great friend. I hope she felt bad as hell for all of it.... She owes you bigtime.
aback 5
Drunks are comfortable enough on the floor.
KatieGoesRawrr 0
or inside a fridge.
LemonFairy 0
FYL. Thank you, though, for taking her keys OP. As somebody who has lost family members to drunk driving it's good to see some people care.
iwadasn 33
^ This.