Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I'm also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. Fuck identity theft. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today. I worked my 10-hour shift and drove over 3 hours to the hotel that I'd reserved a room at for 3 nights. The hotel required ID to get a room with a bank or credit card. I realized I'd lost my state ID, they wouldn't accept my work photo ID, they won't let me pay cash… No ID, no room. FML
Today, I finally made it to my hotel in Florida, only to discover my boss was holidaying in the same hotel with her wife. So far I’ve run into them three times, at the pool, in the bar, and in the gym, and every time she ends up asking me work related questions. It's like I never left the office. FML
Today, I arrived at work, only to be arrested and accused of stealing over $8000 from my job. Five hours later at the police station, the discovery was made that the actual thief had an employee ID one digit different than mine. He works at another location over 1200 miles away. FML
Today, my purse was stolen. Too bad it had all of my money and my passport. My flight is tomorrow, and the embassy is closed until Monday. Guess who gets to stay in a foreign country with no money and no identification for the next three days. FML
Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I'd left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I'd left my phone on the hotel counter. FML
Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML
Today, I had to drive 300 miles to a town where I thought I'd forgotten my purse the night before. When I got to the hotel I had been staying at, I found out it was actually in the trunk of my car. FML
Today, I found that there were charges of almost 2,000 dollars on my bank account. Some asshole in Florida stole my money. I have bills and that was money I saved to buy myself a new car. FML
Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML
Today, I had to dump my girlfriend because of tons of trust issues that kept reappearing. Shortly afterwards, my credit card disappeared and I got to experience my first identity theft. All within 24 hours. FML
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Top comments
webbface 25
Lol better go buy what you want now while you can still blame id theft!
Powerfull_fml 8
Report to the police immediately, as there are a lot of "five star services" in Miami, and some of them can put you in jail...
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Comments (62)
xenmarkal51 6
That happened to my dad once, but instead of taking his money, he took our wifi and looked up all sorts of ****.
girlbye23 15
I smell a movie!
Reesienpiper 4
Sandy Patterson?
ninad7 12
watch the movie, it will make you feel better
Altrnate_Reality 14
this seems a lot like the identity thief movie...
emmybabe987 10
I love your username x3
Vinyl_Scratch_ 22
Sucks
hillorie 14
This sounds like one of my old friends...
id4l 8
isn't that what happened in.the movie identity thief
diabeticsrule 3
I know how u feel, my mom is going thought the same thing. Luckly for us, no money has been stolen.