Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I accidentally said "Yes Daddy” to my boyfriend while at dinner with his parents. They threw me out. My boyfriend did nothing to defend me. FML
Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML
Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
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Top comments
onealmxwilson 18
"I was going to marry my girlfriend, but then I took a taser to the leg."
legitnesquik 1
Ah thats hilarious,
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Comments (180)
cho_bee 9
Did he say something like, "I can't feel my bingo?" Just watched the trailer for Meet the Miller and 'bingo' is now my favorite word. I should blog this...
FrankHotpants 31
Quite unusual to have a taser handy during dinner.
outoftown 27
Great for enforcing table manners, I expect.
Eivana 37
You screamed, your dad protected you. If you're going to be dramatic, then expect people to react accordingly, good or bad.
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
Acting on impulse to a scream is one thing, but unholstering your taser and zapping someone because of a scream is another. Yeah intervene, question why the scream occurred if you aren't too good at telling apart pitches, but someone allowed to carry a taser should NEVER act just on a scream.
trolled11 8
that shocked me that you screamed! did you say yes?
BlackBirdsSong 10
lol. she rejected. the idea frightened her. that's why she screamed.
HumanWiki 8
I'd file charges right after I was done beating the sh*t out of the father.
Neesalun 20
Does your dad not like or trust him??
worldclassrager 41
Did you say yes??? And I bet your father felt horrible after he saw the ring...
outoftown 27
Giver his reaction, I suspect dad felt horrible about having the boyfriend to dinner.
sowrongitsdani 14
I bet that was a shock for him! Although, saying that, I bet it was a shock for you too. Why on earth did you father have a taser during dinner?
chosha_fml 27
Just as we'll he didn't have a gun handy.
Ziggy122 15
Well, I guess that'll be a funny story to tell at the wedding...