Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called him down. He came running down the stairs with a used condom in his mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. He put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
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Top comments
CherishFlowers 0
Eww... don't keep it in your pocket.
DameGreyWulf 1
OH WELL... uh, at least they know you're safe!
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Comments (180)
youlose_ 0
souvenirs, anyone?? =]
Htownmichigan 0
Lotion 4 later! That's awesome!!! Hahaha XD
cocky 0
Used condom.. in your pocket? WTF. Moron.
Azura94 0
Looks like and were tryin to prevent making Oh i love this spell number app.
onyxindigo 0
Yuck, why the **** would you put it in your pocket ?! Even if it was tied it'd have ****** juice all over it. Disgusting, YTDI
tenkenshi 2
lol ****** juice. I'm sure he wouldn't mind it being in his pocket if he was willing to have sex with her.
MiseryMan 0
I keep all my used condoms for sentimental value. Is that weird?
jaaxx_fml 0
I personally wrap my condoms in toilet paper and wet it so when it drys it appears to be a ball of toilet paper in the garbage not a used condom
kokalade 0
Who the hell keeps a used condom in his pocket :S
funny_as_f00ck 0
You should have said "Any one thirsty?"
deliapearl 0
Keep yo hands outta my pocket!!!