Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said, "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML
Today, I was at Wal-Mart where all the aisles had been moved. An elderly woman asked me where the pet products were, so I told her that I didn't know, but showed her where they could be. An hour later, she came back with security. She'd told them I'd purposefully gotten her lost. They threw me out. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
xxmollyxx 25
Maybe you should invest in some nicer clothes, and/or a hair cut?
alakomonus 0
that is messed up
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
salmendoza9 0
ha you look like a hobo
sum1two 0
hahahahahahahahahahhhahahahahaha
jakeisawake 3
Well, if you didn't know you dressed like a hobo, then you do now. I suggest you watch a couple, "What Not to Wear" episodes instead of sulking on FML.
Trace01m 11
Tyler Durden says, "Use soap"
fistnazal 10
his name is Robert Paulson
USF_Jared 0
Take a bath, hippie.
Michigan_Girl 0
You should have told him you were going in to get your herpes medication and condoms, then see what he would have said!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I was thinking Monistat and marshmallow cream.
brizzle123456 0
I'm wondering what you look like to be considered a hobo.
ankit123444 0
time for a shower?
Deverz 10
hobo power!
Eliza_boo 0
Umm.... Your pharmacy has a security guard? And this reminds me of the fact that today coming out of school I saw a hobo smoking across from my school under the bus stop :)