Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
What what?
Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Char
Gravesend, United Kingdom
Today, whilst at work, I had a woman come in with a problem with the seat in her car not moving backwards or forwards. There was a dildo stuck in the chair rail. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML
someone
Mogadore, United States
Today, my car broke down. I pulled to the side of the road to call a tow truck. After waiting what seemed like hours, the tow truck showed up, and then ran into the back of my car. FML
ummWhat?
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
ocroyalty
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML
Anonymous
Move!
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
jjuuuuuuulless
Today, my car's parking gear and parking brake failed. I watched as it rolled down a big hill into someone's 2017, $30,000 camper. FML
carless
United States
Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML
nozVail
United States
Today, I drove to my cousin's house so he could help me fix my broken tail light. On the way there, I got pulled over for having a broken tail light. FML
Seriously?
Today, my friend with benefits got my new car stuck in a mud hole. I had to call my ex to get us unstuck. FML
Top comments
saIty 17
Or maybe your car is a Transformer and was playing with itself.
WallyTheWombat 0
Lol someone put a ***** in your "tailpipe".
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Comments (133)
1JDub 6
***** in the tailpipe...works everytime....
Tyger44 1
I thank u for making my week, I found out my fiance has been cheating on me&then i read this..&i thought i got ******.thank u
Kiirst_mt1994 26
This is just hilarious!
Zaros_fml 24
No one is a virgin because life finds a way to **** us all... But your car too? That's just low.
chickenpie90 16
Hahaha
ZXDriver 0
"Practice safe sex and go **** yourself"
False_Stupidity 42
I tried safe sex once... I couldn't find a safe big enough and kept falling off.
SoundGood 14
Someone told your car: Go **** yourself
perdix 31
Isn't a ***** in the tailpipe called a butt plug?
hellryu 20
That was a dick move on someones part.
ikickgingers 15
Like 9 said... Okay so a banana cost what less than a dollar. 99 cents a pound last time I bought some. ****** depending on quality can range from like $15-$75 or more( at least at adult book store near me). Point: you must have really pissed someone off... Just looking at value of things that you could place in a tailpipe.... Did you eff someone's spouse? Kick a kitten? Burn down an orphanage??You did something... I wanna know dammit!!!! :D
perdix 31
Are you shopping at Nieman-Marcus for bananas? Bananas should cost 49 cents a pound or less. You need to shop around and with the money you save, you can travel to meet creepy old dudes ;)
ikickgingers 15
Organic... :)
XoXoKaylynXoXo 5
OP said "your mom" one too many times.
HomeAl0ne 20
It's reversed here in Australia. Cyclones destroyed all the banana crops so the suckers are $10 / kilo!