Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
What what?
Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Char
Gravesend, United Kingdom
Today, whilst at work, I had a woman come in with a problem with the seat in her car not moving backwards or forwards. There was a dildo stuck in the chair rail. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, after parking my car, I was informed by an incredibly hot girl that my tail light was faulty. I tried hitting it to make it work again. Guess who has 5 stitches and a smashed tail light? FML
someone
Mogadore, United States
Today, my car broke down. I pulled to the side of the road to call a tow truck. After waiting what seemed like hours, the tow truck showed up, and then ran into the back of my car. FML
ummWhat?
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
ocroyalty
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML
Anonymous
Move!
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
jjuuuuuuulless
Today, my car's parking gear and parking brake failed. I watched as it rolled down a big hill into someone's 2017, $30,000 camper. FML
carless
United States
Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML
nozVail
United States
Today, I drove to my cousin's house so he could help me fix my broken tail light. On the way there, I got pulled over for having a broken tail light. FML
Seriously?
Today, my friend with benefits got my new car stuck in a mud hole. I had to call my ex to get us unstuck. FML
Top comments
saIty 17
Or maybe your car is a Transformer and was playing with itself.
WallyTheWombat 0
Lol someone put a ***** in your "tailpipe".
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Comments (133)
MrSaxMan 0
Your cars been gettin some
melibear89 7
Just because you parked in your driveway doesn't mean it's gonna stop someone from putting a ***** in your tailpipe dumbass. I can see why they pretty much said go **** your self your a ******* idiot.
metallicshadow 16
could have been worse, your car could have kept running, and you would die from carbon monoxide poisoning
You_Need_Soap 6
What a tramp! You dirty little hatch back! You're gunna have a litter of smart cars if you're not careful!
every1luvsboners 11
The old ***** in the tail pipe trick. We use to do this back in the 70's to warm it up before insertion. No-one wants a cold *****. It was probably just an accident, make sure to put it back when you get home and leave the keys in the ignition.
IgotPoked 0
Does that count as a one night stand?
aantho_fml 0
That's what she said.
alexwarfield333 1
Haha what a dirty car
bluetorpedo 0
***** in the tail pipe, this broke your car how? The pressure from the crank would be enough to pop it out... But since it's out now, give it to that person whos missing the detachable shower head.
RedPillSucks 33
Hmm..... Why do I feel like "***** in the tailpipe" is a euphemism for surprise butt-sex.