Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML
Today, I spent an hour looking for my wallet before leaving for work. I checked my jacket, bag, kitchen counter, and even the fridge for some reason. I finally gave up and took my spare card. At lunchtime, I reached into my coat pocket and found the wallet. I'd been wearing the coat the entire morning. FML
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
Today, I tore through my apartment looking for my wallet. I was late for work, sweating, panicking, and blaming the cat. After 45 minutes, I found it. In the fridge. Next to the cheese. No explanation. FML
Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her, "goddamn fucking Cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML
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Top comments
Just_A_Tree 20
Wow! Cereal has really stepped it's game up! That has to be the best prize to ever come out of a cereal box!
firestream 9
well I would stop drinking
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Comments (35)
Lucifer42582 4
at least drunk you knew where you'd go, and left your wallet there for you.
claubea11 14
Be happy you found it :)
Ki11erC 18
Fridge is usually the common one I hear about, cereal is new lol
Cwilson3388 11
I feel you. I once woke up under a bunk bed holding a lighter in one hand and my phone in the other. I had a black eye and a broke finger. I still to this day don't know what happened! Damn Kracken!
meegal 12
Yes you do need to stop drinking. It's terrible for you and as you see people become stupid when they're drunk. Good luck OP.
lilchica22001 22
Don't stop drinking! You are awesome! In fact....let me drink with you :)
tbone5466 9
I feel like your drunk self did it on purpose so that you wouldn't lose it. you knew you'd have cereal in the morning, thank your drunk self
ZackFev 6
Honey nut Cheerios has stepped up their prizes
Floortje 17
Drunk you is actually pretty smart, because he'd know you want your wallet when you'd be sober again and that you would have cereal in the morning :)
roseice6686 10
Well think about it this way, at least your drunken mind thinks to put important objects where you'll find them easily enough.