Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML
Today, I spent an hour looking for my wallet before leaving for work. I checked my jacket, bag, kitchen counter, and even the fridge for some reason. I finally gave up and took my spare card. At lunchtime, I reached into my coat pocket and found the wallet. I'd been wearing the coat the entire morning. FML
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
Today, I tore through my apartment looking for my wallet. I was late for work, sweating, panicking, and blaming the cat. After 45 minutes, I found it. In the fridge. Next to the cheese. No explanation. FML
Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her, "goddamn fucking Cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML
Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML
Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML
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Top comments
Just_A_Tree 20
Wow! Cereal has really stepped it's game up! That has to be the best prize to ever come out of a cereal box!
firestream 9
well I would stop drinking
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Comments (35)
firestream 9
well I would stop drinking
Mr_Saikaly 35
Or at least start putting some control on the quantity you're drinking
Just_A_Tree 20
Some people can't manage that.
Rinat_fml 26
Red wine made me do stupid things. Now I only drink beer. Just saying.
cinskeep43 15
I think the obvious solution here is to get clear cereal boxes
Insertnamesz 3
Clearly.
eyepuppy 31
He's actually pretty smart. He starts driving and realizes that he'll lose his wallet, so he puts it in the cereal box because he knows he will eat some in the morning. pretty clever.
BrainSlugs83 2
at least for a day or two, right?
spatula232 25
It's honesty the worst feeling losing your phone or wallet
mydadpulledout 17
I couldn't agree more. I lose my phone pretty much every time I get really drunk, well, except the time I made this FML account.
ilytyvm 25
Here's your sign...
orbit 22
I think a better sign was the fml where the guy texted nude pictures to his grandma while drunk. I hope she didn't have a phone plan with texting for his sake...
Sakuraashita 15
Yes!!!! A Bill Engval reference! You have made my day!
underthesea12 24
It happens to us all.
AnOriginalName 19
No, no, I can't say that I've ever gotten so drunk that I put my wallet into a box of cereal.
sayyestothedress 24
I can't say that I've gotten drunk cuz I'm only 12 years old
Just_A_Tree 20
Wow! Cereal has really stepped it's game up! That has to be the best prize to ever come out of a cereal box!
KK3137 31
Not to mention the comfort and relief that come with it!
RedPillSucks 33
Honey nut Cheerios is where it's at!!!
KK3137 31
Or make the cereal box as a permanent storage place for your wallet and keep the drinks coming ;)
Just_A_Tree 20
I like the way you think! *puts sandwich and wallet in sock drawer*
agghhh 7
I once found my I.D in a deck of cards, happens to the best of us
jerryj 27
*worst
dawood_k 27
So get drunk... Go home and have some cereal and pass out. Oops I mean have cereal hide my wallet in the box and than pass-out.. WTF have you been drinking. Hope you remembered to brush your teeth before passing out
slyde32 12
I think you need to stop drinking, too
Brandi_Faith 34
Yes, Op was so drunk that he mistook his cereal box as a place to store his wallet, but I'm sure he remembered to brush his teeth. It was probably his number one priority at the time.
sweetbliss3 37
drink, have fun, cool. but if you're drinking so much that your wallet ends up in weird places, it's probably time to slow down. ydi.
mrrudy1972 3
I think you did a little more than drink...
slyde32 12
like losing his wallet? eating cereal?