Today, my best friend told me how his batshit insane girlfriend keeps questioning his sexuality and thinks we're screwing behind her back. He's so desperate for a relationship that he's decided to stop hanging out with me. Goodbye seven years of friendship. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my supposed "best friend" started going out with the girl I'd just split up with, immediately after she said she wanted to see other people. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my female best friend. When I pointed out that my friend's a lesbian, she said, "How the hell does that change anything?" I have no idea why I'm not happy to be rid of that paranoid imbecile. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that his best friend of 10 years is giving him the silent treatment because he told her he's in a relationship. He's become a depressed wreck. When I asked him if he's secretly in love with her or something, he flipped a table over and told me to, "mind my own fucking business." FML
Today, the guy I gave up all my social life and casual sex partner for, suddenly decided that he wants nothing to do with me sexually, and then called me "desperate" for wanting to be his friend despite that fact. Now, because of him, I'm no longer getting laid, and I have no friends. FML
Today, my best friend is completely head-over-heels for his girlfriend, has been buying her very expensive stuff and gave her the ring of compromise after 4 years of relationship. The problem is, I just found out that the girlfriend has been sexting with someone else, and is sure to dump my friend for that guy. FML
Today, my nutjob girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my best friend, just because she's a woman. Before she left, my now-ex decided to punish me by destroying the dissertation I've spent months working on, along with both backups of it. FML
Today, my best friend announced that he has a girlfriend now and we’ll be interacting less often. When I protested, he said, “Why are you acting like this? You rejected me when I asked you to be my girlfriend and told me we were just friends, did you not?” FML
Today, I got a text from my friend of 8 years, who I talked to everyday, saying he isn’t allowed to talk to me anymore because the junkie girl he is dating doesn’t want him to talk to other girls. I’m happily married, but she doesn’t like any of his friends who are girls. FML
Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML
Today, my friend told me she managed to have sex with the guy who told me he didn’t wanna date me, or even become friends with benefits, because it would “ruin our friendship.” They’ve been friends for about two years. Apparently, her friendship with him is worth “ruining.” FML
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Top comments
Soninuva 41
Someone is way too insecure.
whatarethisss 23
His loss
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Comments (95)
PotatoesAndCake 26
Don't worry about it. They'll break up and he'll realise that not being friends with you was the worst mistake he ever made
sohigh10 34
Did you two at least have breakup sex?