Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML
Today, my four year-old daughter asked me what the word “necrophilia” means. I have no idea where she even heard that. FML
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, my parents and I were looking for something using the TV's search bar. Despite never, ever watching anything resembling porn, one of the default search options was, "Hot female Asian sex videos." Thank God they have an excellent sense of humor, as they laughed their heads off. FML
Today, I decided to go through my younger brother's browser history. I found out he goes regularly on PornHub. He's only 10. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
1. you snooped (**** her life) 2. she's at least expanding her knowledge 3. you as a parent have a role in helping to aid in expanding her repertoire. Maybe you should take some blame
Anderling 33
...would you rather she didn't look them up and remained ignorant then? Because those are your two options here.
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Comments (14)
Nolongeracriminal 16
Would you rather it have been ****? She can do what she wants, by herself nonetheless and not get pregnant or catch one of those nasty ungodly diseases floating around out there. That's my pov.
youaremysunshine95 1
It’s gross that you’re looking through her search history. Would you like it if people were doing that with yours? She has a reasonable right to privacy. She’s trying to educate herself. Be proud of that and move on. There are a LOT worse problems you can have with your kids then them not knowing the exact definition of the word arbitrary.
idragosani 17
So? What's wrong with looking up words? Maybe she's writing a paper. Shame on your for snooping
duchessdoughnut 2
Tis no arbitrary thing she is using her initiative to educate herself on words previously unknown. It’ll not be long before she’s more well spoken than you, you pretentious prick.