Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I locked myself out of my car. While walking home to retrieve the spare, I realized I locked my house keys inside the house this morning. Now I must decide whether to break into my house or car. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML
Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML
Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML
Today, I was driving back from school 100 miles away from my home with my fiancé and dog. While stopping for gas, we accidentally left our car keys and cell phones in the car. The dog sat on one of the keys and engaged the locks. We were locked out of the car until the tow truck arrived. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML
Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML
Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting three hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML
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Top comments
1DisGR8 32
Okay that sucks but did you really have to put the spare in a sex toy drawer? Shouldn't you have put it somewhere more accessible?
omgbrainZ_fml 24
maybe ask a friend for a ride home :)
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Comments (123)
lemonadestand 7
This is a situation in which hindsight is definitely 20/20.
The_Big_Boss 20
You obviously did not put much thought into that one...
ahaas96 4
They have this thing today called a "taxi".
ksks1234 33
Not all towns have taxi services. The town I grew up in didn't. The closet taxi was 45 miles away.
SaniK 17
I thought the whole point of having kids was to embarrass them
lengi123 18
Yeah but there's a difference between embarrassing them and effectively shattering their childhood
Hiimhaileypotter 53
If it "shatters your childhood" to see your parents' sex toys I think you've got issues... I know that nobody wants to see that, but is the drama necessary? Is it really THAT big of a deal? Might be gross at the time to see, but it's something that wouldn't be too difficult to just push out of your mind and try to forget...
igg125 30
I bet your oldest already knows what is in the drawer.
mustangbravo 27
Uber or Lyft would save the day.
tomvertigo 17
Or end in double homicide. You never know!
ADBurns 22
Get a cab?
Alexis2742 31
If the child could have brought you the keys, why couldn't he or she have just come and picked you up. Then you guys could have gotten a ride home, got the keys, got a ride back to your car, and drive back home...?
backdoorman010 9
someone here with some ******* brains. you win the comments section here
lvg_fml 10
You win today's award for common sense
nix1993 41
I was just wondering this. Either they expected their child to walk the 12 miles they were bitching about with the keys, or they can drive, and then could have picked them up...
Ieri 31
That's what I was thinking, glad someone pointed it out. I mean if they could get to you they probably could drive their own car to pick you up and then back home to your keys, and if they could take a public transport service to get to the parents so could they. This whole FML is a mess.
christopherwilli 14
I think if your kid is old enough to deliver you keys 12 miles away I assume he is mature enough to see some sex toys
IWishIWasObama 12
of course it's an American complaining about walking 12 miles!
ImTheAlpha 30
That's 4 (assuming an average speed of 3 mph) unexpected hours of walking. For all we know they were in heels and had to go up all the hills. I'm sure no one would be happy about that.
Eliiara 11
I'm miserable just walking across the parking lot in heels lol