Today, my socks are labeled "100% wool". If you looked at them, though, you'd have to admit that the correct label, after being used for months, would have to read something like, "50% wool, 30% dog hair, 20% cat hair." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I put on what I thought was my "lucky" sweater for a job interview. Halfway there, I noticed my reflection in a car window and realized it was covered in cat hairs of various colors and a faded spaghetti stain from last week that apparently hadn't come out in the wash. FML
Today, I put on a sock. Then another sock. When I got into public, I realized my two socks were slightly different shades of blue. FML
Today, I asked my husband why his socks are always inside-out in the laundry basket. He replied, "So the insides get clean." FML
Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML
Today, I found the missing sock from my laundry inside the sleeve of a hoodie I’d already worn twice. I now know where my laundry goes to hide from me. FML
Today, I got a fancy new bra made of organic cotton. Or, well, the outside of it is. The inside, which actually touches my skin, is made of 100% polyester. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML
Today, I did laundry for the first time in weeks. Feeling productive, I dumped everything in, including what I thought was my pile of towels. Turns out, I washed (and shrunk) my roommate’s $200 wool sweater. She found out when I proudly showed her how “clean” everything looked. FML
Today, I pulled my clothes out of the dryer and realized I had washed an entire pack of tissues with them. Every single piece of clothing was covered in what looked like tiny snowflakes. I now look like I’ve been rolling around in dandruff. FML
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Top comments
Yvonne Rose 4
Er how about washing them?
randybryant799 21
Do you not wash them?
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Comments (4)
Yvonne Rose 4
Er how about washing them?
randybryant799 21
Do you not wash them?
Hempseed 27
You are aware that washing machines exist to solve these kinds of problems, right?