Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt asked me if I was seeing anyone special. In a tired and sarcastic tone, I jokingly said, “I’m actually getting married next month!” The room went silent, then some of them cheered. I had to explain I was kidding, but now they’re looking forward to a wedding I didn’t agree to. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML
Today, my ultra-conservative aunt got rip-roaring drunk at a family barbecue and told everyone that I'm a "raging homosexual" with a lack a moral compass, all because I kissed a male friend at a high school party about 20 years ago. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML
Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
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Top comments
c8750 2
OP, don't worry about your aunt. You know the truth & that's all that matters so just be happy with your new husband
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
shouldn't have even invited her. why should you have to convince somebody that you are what you are? ridiculous.
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Comments (71)
BugMan9081 0
ydi for being a DIRTY ****
DocBastard 40
It just wouldn't be a wedding without someone getting drunk and acting the fool.
nexttimeblue 0
Well what do you expect? she probably caught you singing 'it's raining men' while wearing ass out chaps!
rebwonders 0
some comments are very telling about their authors. what interesting imagery you immediately went to. you know sometimes a pickle is not always a pickle!
Rose2010 0
lol! that was funny
benderbang48 4
this reminds me of Shane Dawson haha
really231001 0
lol same :D
BoomerFTW 0
haha Shane ftw
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for using your poor bride to falsely convince your aunt that you're straight, for being so deep in the closet that you constantly reek of moth balls, and for even having an aunt in the first place.
TaylorTheBoss 4
He deserves it for having an aunt..? wtf lol
c8750 2
You must be pretty new to FML. That's just Trollz
TaylorTheBoss 4
Kids...
callmelucky 0
She thinks you got married just to convince HER? What is she, the center of the universe?
rattusrattus 19
Apparently so. Possibly in a "so large she has her own gravitational pull, and this causes other things with gravitational pulls to orbit around her" way. *slaps back of own hand* Bad ratty for saying nasty things.
underpaid011 0
I would have kicked the bitch out of the party. nobody likes a rude drunk asshole, except other rude drunk assholes.
Monii_Harlz 11
yeah that sucks!! anyway u shudbt have to prove anything! if you love the women you've married then good for you don't listen to what other people have to say about who you are... they don't know you :) you are the only person who knows how you really feel about other people!
aback 5
Why do you maintain contact with this woman, again?
RoseThorns 0
For that warm fuzzy feeling.