Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML
Today, I took a cab ride home from a bar. After a few minutes of horrible driving, I felt sick. The cab driver got so mad she locked me in the car and started driving me to the cops unless I payed her extra. Basically, I paid $120 for a five-minute cab ride. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I intended to get home early. Instead, I got too drunk, threw up, fell asleep on the train, and had to pay a $120 for a taxi fare. Happy 30th birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML
Today, I got a taxi home from work. Only having notes in my wallet, I told the taxi driver that I'd run inside my house and come back out with the change for the journey. He agreed, but only if I left my bag as collateral. It seemed fair. An hour later, I realized my wallet was missing. FML
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Top comments
xivilia 0
Wow, don't drink.. Try a safe alternative such as.... Smoothies.. Mmmm, everyone loves smoothies.....
bxrv43 0
did the cab have a window?
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Comments (211)
FMLwrestler 0
There's something called a window, my man. Use it wisely. Especially when you are going to throw up. However, all the people who put "YDI" are insensitive pricks. You made a really stupid, unwise decision, but who am I to judge? I just had the hardest football workout in weeks, and I didn't throw up. So I can't really say I would make a better snap judgement in a puking situation. you cant be blamed. plus he didnt do anything to anybody else anyway so chill out ppl
MissTipsy 0
Eeeeww. Ooh that happended to me when I gave my boyfriend head... I gaged only I barfed in my martini glass :D
swimmer07 0
was there a window?
amstillives 0
Thousandth person to agree. FYL
ohhhhshizzz 0
xxxxxxxxx+xx
Jurples 0
#60, Vomiting blood is a BAD thing. It could mean that you have some serious heath issue. I don't think that it's all the OP's fault. They just got carried away, I guess. And it's better than driving under the influence. Good idea to take a cab.
kevo17 0
What did the driver say
effmalife 0
AT LEAST SHE WASNT DRIVING HOME HERSELF!!!!! GOOD FOR U BEING RESPONSIBLE!
camfab 0
At least u took a cab
hazezz 0
Well at least u didn't drive home drunk lol