Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML
Today, I took a cab ride home from a bar. After a few minutes of horrible driving, I felt sick. The cab driver got so mad she locked me in the car and started driving me to the cops unless I payed her extra. Basically, I paid $120 for a five-minute cab ride. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I intended to get home early. Instead, I got too drunk, threw up, fell asleep on the train, and had to pay a $120 for a taxi fare. Happy 30th birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML
Today, I got a taxi home from work. Only having notes in my wallet, I told the taxi driver that I'd run inside my house and come back out with the change for the journey. He agreed, but only if I left my bag as collateral. It seemed fair. An hour later, I realized my wallet was missing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
xivilia 0
Wow, don't drink.. Try a safe alternative such as.... Smoothies.. Mmmm, everyone loves smoothies.....
bxrv43 0
did the cab have a window?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (211)
afrances 0
LOL...open the window next time?
Jaxon321 0
I would have killed the drive and though up on him. Then I would leave him in an alley and drive home.
itsnotfair 0
taken or taking?
kellster 2
If you do this often enough that you know that cabs have a clean-up fee, you drink too much. You might even have a problem. You might want to think about that. Also, completely disgusting. I guess you had to touch the money with your puke-covered hands. That poor, poor cabbie. Not to mention that he had to listen to your puking while he was driving. FHL, not yours!
FroGood 0
Can I sex you?
jollyjam1 2
Just wondering what is going on in your life that you have to drink?
monicamischief 0
76- i hope you aren't serious. you don't have to have something wrong in your life to drink : / people drink because it's fun to drink, and the OP obviously just accidentally over-did it. drinking doesn't mean that one has a bad life.
tgatppwsha 0
Ewwww. That was stupid. I would have thrown up in the cab before ruining my own stuff.
darkelf06 0
pockets + wallet. what if someone stole your handbag?
oh_dee 0
so instead of paying the taxi clean up fee you get to pay for a new bag AND a new everything-else-in-your-bag! great deal!