Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML
Today, I took a cab ride home from a bar. After a few minutes of horrible driving, I felt sick. The cab driver got so mad she locked me in the car and started driving me to the cops unless I payed her extra. Basically, I paid $120 for a five-minute cab ride. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I intended to get home early. Instead, I got too drunk, threw up, fell asleep on the train, and had to pay a $120 for a taxi fare. Happy 30th birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML
Today, I got a taxi home from work. Only having notes in my wallet, I told the taxi driver that I'd run inside my house and come back out with the change for the journey. He agreed, but only if I left my bag as collateral. It seemed fair. An hour later, I realized my wallet was missing. FML
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Top comments
xivilia 0
Wow, don't drink.. Try a safe alternative such as.... Smoothies.. Mmmm, everyone loves smoothies.....
bxrv43 0
did the cab have a window?
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Comments (211)
afrances 0
LOL...open the window next time?
Jaxon321 0
I would have killed the drive and though up on him. Then I would leave him in an alley and drive home.
itsnotfair 0
taken or taking?
kellster 2
If you do this often enough that you know that cabs have a clean-up fee, you drink too much. You might even have a problem. You might want to think about that. Also, completely disgusting. I guess you had to touch the money with your puke-covered hands. That poor, poor cabbie. Not to mention that he had to listen to your puking while he was driving. FHL, not yours!
FroGood 0
Can I sex you?
jollyjam1 2
Just wondering what is going on in your life that you have to drink?
monicamischief 0
76- i hope you aren't serious. you don't have to have something wrong in your life to drink : / people drink because it's fun to drink, and the OP obviously just accidentally over-did it. drinking doesn't mean that one has a bad life.
tgatppwsha 0
Ewwww. That was stupid. I would have thrown up in the cab before ruining my own stuff.
darkelf06 0
pockets + wallet. what if someone stole your handbag?
oh_dee 0
so instead of paying the taxi clean up fee you get to pay for a new bag AND a new everything-else-in-your-bag! great deal!