Today, I got home at 2am. It was dark but I heard my fiancé in the kitchen, so I went and kissed her, and grabbed both ass cheeks. Normally this would turn her on, but she screamed and turned on the lights. It was my sister. I groped my sister's ass. Why was she in my house in the dark at 2am? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen and found a friend of my sister's stripped down to just her panties changing her clothes. In the kitchen. She had the nerve to call me a peeping Tom and slap me. Why was she even here without my sister, and why couldn’t she use the bathroom to change? FML
Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
joseph_rod_05 14
epic fail
JackWood 21
Apparently she wasn't there to see you. That leaves only one other. Let's put one and one together equals lesbians.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
JackWood 21
Apparently she wasn't there to see you. That leaves only one other. Let's put one and one together equals lesbians.
joseph_rod_05 14
epic fail
RichardPencil 32
That's the least interesting question here. If you could detect a human form in the kitchen, how come you couldn't distinguish between your fiancée (that's how it is spelled) and your sister? Is their similarity an indication of some kind of incestuous urge? How drunk were you? Is your sister chipping in for food or is she mooching off of you?
BurnInDemonFire 39
My guess is she was hanging out with your fiancée, it got late, and she was given the chance to stay the night. Then around 2am she was thirsty, so went to the kitchen to get a drink but left the lights off so as not to disturb your fiancée. Call me Columbo.
Brightside86 31
Rolled a 1 on your perception check...