Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dad's words of wisdom were, "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML
Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML
Today, my drunk dad told me I'm smart enough that any guy could overlook the fact that I'm fat, but not smart enough that they could overlook how ugly I am. Gee, thanks. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML
Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML
Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML
Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML
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Top comments
Blre 0
I wouldn't say they'd date anything...more like they'd f**k anything.
suyci 0
yep, thats how we men are, blunt and realistic :P
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Comments (28)
mechwarrior 0
Well, if he said otherwise, you might have set your expectations higher. And thus feel even more depressed when nobody in college would date you.
d_dh2310 0
# 25.. AHAHAHAHAHAH and sorry your dad isn't sensitive.. but that is HILARIOUS
carlos_oac 0
Your daddy is an asshole, i bet you're a very smart and sensitive girl, and that there is a lot of guys seeking for someone like you!
tateno 0
wow, your dad seems really nice lol
ertw 0
i dont want to be an asshole, but anyone can be decent looking if they make an effort, and if you're decent looking and not a bitch/whiny(which you seem to be)/crazy, someone will ask you out. so tone down the whining, make an effort and this wont be a problem any more
sof_kraken 0
pics? :/
lampshade131 0
thats some great and accurate advice.
epicfail13337 4
He's being mean, but he's right....don't go out with drunk guys though, when they sober up and see you weren't as pretty as they thought, it'll be a really big FML.
ilovefatcats 12
that's supposed to make you feel...good?
deathgrowl6 0
why don't you ask someone out? you never know, they could always say yes, and you won't find out until you try it.