Today, I invited my very animal-phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved, so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML
Today, my new boyfriend is so scared of dogs that he won’t even go in the room where my new puppy's bed is, so even on the days when he’s at home not working, I still have to pay the lad next door to come round and let it into the garden for a pee, because he’s too scared to open the door. FML
Today, I warned my new boyfriend not to approach my ferret, as he is still quite young and bites when he plays. He ignored me completely because “animals love him”, and when my ferret latched onto his finger, he threw him across the room. Now I can’t find him anywhere in the house. FML
Today, I was cleaning up rabbit pee from the floor when my rabbit hopped up to me. To prevent her from standing in it and spreading it throughout the room, I shooed her away. She got such a fright that she jumped in the pee and spattered it all over my clothes and face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML
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Top comments
Phazzer 0
If you knew he was afraid of them, why not put them in another room or outside?
prettykitty123 0
Rabbits hump?!
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Comments (97)
FerrariCake 2
Your bf is an idiot. That's how dogs and rabbits say "WOW! YOU'RE THE COOLEST GUY WE'VE EVER MET!" Why else would the rabbit try to hump him?
screwthat 0
even if its not scary i think it is sort of weird to have a rabbit hump you. I have never had a rabbit as a pet but i have had a dog, n let me tell you a rabbit humping my leg would freak me out, so no he is not a pussy as most people are saying. YDI.
I_am_stupid_also 6
Today, my owner let me out of my cage for the first time in ages. I was so horny I couldn't help self from humping the first warm thing I saw. Turns out it was some dude who all of a sudden started acting like this total pansy. I had to go back to my cage. FML.
screwthat 0
ok, after reading this one i had to go youtube rabbit hump, it was so weird n funny at the same time :P I would never keep one as a pet but just the idea of bringing one into my house and seeing my parents' expression when it starts humping things randomly, the idea just made my day lol
jw90 18
oh wow some people have phobias! they can't control being scared of things. or maybe he had a bad experience with a dog or something when he was a kid. he's not a pussy just cuz animals freak him out a bit.
Bright_Lights 14
I'm from Manchester! ;D
James818 0
what a Pansy tell him to harden up
paperfox_fml 0
Yes, intact rabbits do have behavioural problems. That's why responsible owners neuter them. Did you know that responsible owners also keep social animals like rabbits in pairs?
bre_zip_it_up13 11
i wanna see the rabbit hump him
kristidgranger 3
funny and sad that happened