Today, a kind cyclist rode up next to me to inform me that my bag of groceries was about to fall off. Exceedingly careful, I slowly brought my bike to a halt. Only at the very second I stood still did I hear the dreaded "twang" as my carrier broke, and my stuff smashed to the ground. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
Today, I bought a new bike from a sporting goods store. I secured the bike in the back seat and slammed the door shut, but I didn't pay close enough attention to the placement of the handlebars. I had to return the bike to pay for the shattered window. FML
Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML
Today, at the supermarket, I ignored the "Riding on trolleys down the ramp is strictly prohibited" sign. While going full speed down the ramp, my trolley with $200 worth of groceries in it tipped and crashed. Luckily, I broke its fall. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was finishing up at the gym and packed my bag to come home. I set my phone on top of it for a second as I knelt down to tie my shoes. Less than a minute later, I grabbed my bag to walk out, forgetting that it was on top. It tumbled to the ground and smashed. Guess I need a new phone. FML
Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML
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Top comments
NightCasterZ 5
A kind person? Those are rare nowadays.
DarkLink9001 15
I think it's time to start packing differently...
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Comments (27)
Tomryan279 10
Well isn't it better for the stuff to drop at a known one spot instead of a little bit falling out while you biking to your home or where ever your going
MidnaLink 35
Ah, but imagine the groceries… pickles, bananas, jam, oranges and apples. That shit just all basically went to waste.
Tomryan279 10
Agreed but I bet he lost less then he would have while he was riding fast
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
He jinxed you.
guesswhatlifesux 14
I only said your life sucks because of your handle
GeeThatSucks 9
I like this post. you're a good person who did nothing wrong. the other cyclist was kind. it was an event that was out of your hands and genuinely sucks. now let's see the comments try to be rude and smart assess about how you suck
hyperreader 15
And then I threw it on the grounddddd. Before I get downvoted, this is a lonely island song reference. It is criminal that no one recognised it.
russfml 31
That's not your dad that's a cell phone, so I threw it to the ground!
Ayasha_fml 12
Someone else did, but is a plebian with macaroni for most of the brains and a confused squirrel for the logic, reasoning, and common sense portion of their brain for judging someone over their music choices. How asinine. "Your life sucks because of your handle." Referring to that.
Supersonic54 18
The moral of this story is you can't trust the system, man.
Ardatlile 13
joachim? :o had a friend telling the exact same thing after training today
emeraldarcher74 30
Didn't your mother ever tell you never to put all of your eggs in one bag?
Delta_0DST 12
So unicorns do exist . . .