Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really liked. He spent the whole time talking about his pet iguana and how it's the love of his life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on Bumble. He spent the entire time talking about his pet tarantula and showing me pictures of it, all while I made 'ooh' and 'aah' noises, as if the guy was a child showing me his kindergarten drawings. FML
Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I went on a date with a cute guy. After picking me up, he started to play on repeat, and sing to me, 'Happy Together' by The Turtles. For the entire 20 minute ride. FML
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML
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Top comments
Blueraspberrycat 6
He sounds lovely actually, as a fellow reptile keeper and someone who loves guys who like animals I would find this guy fascinating, its nice to see he is passionate and caring for his pets, if you couldnt get him to talk about anything else arent you also to blame?
Jesse Duff 15
this isn't reddit...that being said, first date vs lifelong pet, you lose every time.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
Sadly, I think you're going to be the invertebrate in this love triangle and play second banana to a lizard.
Blueraspberrycat 6
He sounds lovely actually, as a fellow reptile keeper and someone who loves guys who like animals I would find this guy fascinating, its nice to see he is passionate and caring for his pets, if you couldnt get him to talk about anything else arent you also to blame?
Anderling 33
I’ll have him if you won’t.
JackWood 21
Find someone who enjoys warm blooded animals.
Jesse Duff 15
this isn't reddit...that being said, first date vs lifelong pet, you lose every time.