Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML
Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Dat_Class_Tho 26
When Listerine inroduced a cinnamon flavored mouth wash, I thought, "Why the hell would anyone in their right mind want to set their mouth on fire?..." But now I get it.
liinkinparkfan97 34
How unlucky! I thought it was kind of a force of habit to cover your mouth when you yawn though? Maybe that's just me. But seriously, sorry OP. At least you'll know to cover your mouth in the future!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (33)
gracehi 33
I wonder how many other people yawned when they read this.
cootiequeen4444 11
nope. && I'm never yawning again after this fml.
Devolution 8
Reading this conjured the funniest visual of this FML
claudiajean 24
Why does this remind me of when spies or thieves lower themselves into jewellers and such in films when breaking in? Who knows, maybe he was a spyder! I apologise.
jessicasoho 13
nope. nope. nope.
AznLuvsMusic 26
I yawned as I read this. Coincidentally, I also killed a spider lurking on my ceiling earlier this evening.
aredvulpix 23
That's horrifying
jvanevery 19
are average people inhale 8 spiders a year in their sleep
Lefty_Guns 16
YDI. I like to think the spider was making a point about how you should cover your mouth when you yawn.
dabomsht123 3
Tasty!! Great source of protein!
thesunlord 15
Show that bastard who's boss and eat it