Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML
Today, I finally came home from a semester of college, and all my parents and sister can talk about is how bad my acne has gotten. FML
Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML
Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML
Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML
Freaked out
Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML
Today, I had to leave class early due to a profusely bleeding pimple on my forehead. FML
Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML
Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML
Content warning
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Top comments
MAGNAVOX 0
Looks like your family doesn't give a shit.
perdix 31
Your brother's zit is probably going to be more productive than the waste of money your four years of drunken partying and anonymous sex will ever be.
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Comments (79)
denvan 0
Maybe the zit will encourage you to change your major
MissLizWolf 8
Ydi for not having a zit to talk about with your family. (: only joking, sorry for your family not caring about you and your education.
bankrupt 15
Welcome to my world, OP. ANYTHING about their son, no matter how trivial, made both of my parents drop me like a hot potato. Once when I was little I was in a movie theater with my mom and brother and I smelled smoke. I realized if I shouted "FIRE" I'd start a stampede and we were pretty far from the exit so I figured I'd tell my mom, we'd leave and then yell "Fire" to the others so I told my mom I smelled smoke. She ignored me. Repeat. Repeat. Finally she told me if I didn't shut my damned mouth that second she was going to take me into the aisle and beat me in front of the rest of the people in the theater. So I started to try to figure out how to get out of the theater when someone else smelled the smoke and shouted "FIRE" so we were stuck in the stampede and were the last people out of the theater, the exact scenario I had been trying to avoid. When we got out I said, "I TOLD you I smelled smoke and you kept ignoring me." Another woman heard me and snarled at my mom, "She smelled smoke and you IGNORED her? We all could have died." When we got home my mom beat me half to death for saying something "against her" in public. What I should have done was told my brother to tell her about the smoke; she hung on to every word that asshole said like it was the Word of God. I am 50 and can still barely get three sentences out of my mouth to them without being interrupted, even if its very important. My brother can still prate on for hours about nonsense while they stare at him and hang on every word. They'd better hope next time I am not the only person who smells smoke because apparently they would rather die than listen to me.
bv110 2
im 14 and honestly i would have kicked my dad in the nuts and told my mum to **** off if that ever happened! and i would call the cops on her ass for beating me when i was right in the first place!
FFML_314 12
THANK YOU, OC! Seriously, Bankrupt. I know more about you than I do about myself. We don't need a play by play of your entire life every single time you comment. Next you're going to go into detail about the mole on your ass or the hang nail on your toe. No one cares.
bankrupt 15
SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If there's a fire I won't tell you so you can die of smoke inhalation and then maybe your corpse will burn. I was trying to SAVE LIVES, you retard. Next time I smell smoke in a public place I guess I am better off walking out by myself and letting everyone else get killed, since the world seems to be filled with horrible assholes. I was 3 years old at the time and I STILL was trying to figure out a way to get out of there AND save everyone else; I bet you would have just run out of there yourself. And on further review, I guess that is the way to go. When I was 3 I thought other lives were worth saving; THANK YOU SO MUCH for showing me once and for all that they are not.
FFML_314 12
Next time just hang yourself.
bankrupt 15
Yes, I can remember all kinds of things from when I was 3 and even 2. I distinctly recall details from JFK's assassination and I wasn't quite 3 at the time. My outstanding memory skills are quite helpful in my job. It's a gift and a curse. Additionally yes, I did figure it all out at age 3. I was always highly intelligent and ahead of my peers. Also a gift and a curse. My husband jokes that I was never actually a child and in a way that's true; childhood was a big bore to me. Hated toys. Hated TV. Hated playing games. Had to endure the company of other children who enjoyed all that when I was bored to tears. Not that it was wrong; I just didn't want to do any of it. All I really wanted to do was read and write. I was an adult trapped in a child's body. It was abnormal but it was was it was. I had total recall as a kid when most everyone else had zero recall. My mom wouldn't even write a grocery list; she'd tell me what she needed and I'd remember it and tell her what to buy.
FFML_314 12
OC, DO NOT ENCOURAGE HER. She will find a memory in everything you say.
Cinn_fml 23
Bankrupt, you do realise not everything has to relate to you, right? Also, if you were trying to save lives, you'd have just yelled fire anyway, or told someone else. Yes, you claim you were three, and I know it is possible to remember things from back then (my sister is a prime example of this), however, I do doubt if you are being entirely truthful or if you are exagerating slightly. Also, you use the example of letting others die in a fire if you smell smoke now. You claim to be an adult now, and highly intelligent, surely you can use your far superior intellect to plan the best course of action and to learn from your three year old self's mistake and save lives in the future.
FYLwindowlicker 0
WTF! Are we suppose to reply to FMLs with our autobiography? Get a freaking life and go hang out with ppl your age at the retirement home. I should kick your moms ass for bringing you into this world and thus allowing you to ruin the lives of any young minds that you come into contact with in life. PLEASE tell me you didn't procreate! I agree, Hang yourself!
FYLwindowlicker 0
once at band camp.....
friday170 0
wow that's way to long for someone to read WTF fyl
Cinn_fml 23
FYLwindowlicker - It's one thing to disagree with someone, but telling them to hang themselves is taking it WAY too far. As was saying you should be attacking her mother for her existance, though from the sound of it I don't think she'd care. Also, how many people really retire at fifty?
TeenieAmerica 9
Sounds like my family :/
moneyisawesome 0
wow u have a weird family
GETOVERIT2039 0
So at least they weren't discussing your own zit! that would have been a real fml instead of this which is just you whining cause you didn't have attention.
averageirishman 0
yeah op needs to get her priorities straight
bugmenotmofo 34
How am I honestly the only one who read, "college" then "woman" and continued on as if this FML was irrelevant.
Brey1013 0
this is not an fml
Shmekekey 0
Op, .....Shut up