Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my art teacher fawned over my friend's photographs of random children and people making out, while she called my picture of an old man looking thoughtful on a pier "creepy" and "voyeuristic." FML
Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML
Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML
Today, I received a friend request from a boyfriend I hadn't talked to in 20+ years. A few minutes later, he messaged me a picture of himself with a young woman at a strip club. My daughter. FML
Today, an old flame reached out with some truly filthy intent. After burning with righteous indignation, I ended up sending back some embarrassingly submissive pictures. What is wrong with me? FML
Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML
Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML
Today, I got a request to draw a sexual art of a fictional character. Obviously, because that’s my job, I spent five hours doing it. I gave it to the person and it turns out it was a creepy guy I know and he tried to flirt with me by saying, “You are much hotter than her,… Girl.” I’m non-binary and only sleep with girls. FML
Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML
Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML
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Top comments
third_planet 0
Where's the FML?
bobsanction 18
Pics or gtfo.
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Comments (68)
bmonehh 0
eww
sxm 13
if I were in your position I'd penetrate that cougar , your lucky my friend.
laughingman 0
was she a hot cougar?
bugmenotmofo 34
The subject of your first sentence is the old woman, so why was she showing your work? The subject of your second sentence is also the old woman, so what was she refusing to do? Corrected below: "Today, while I was showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After I had refused more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML
goldy18 0
if you have nothing better to do then edit the FMLs for grammer, then FYL, cuz ur life must really suck.
swhockey02 0
grammar Nazi I will kill u grammer hitler then I salute
naty_roxy 0
i say you just bang her.. she's old but with lots of experience ;)
shooter03 0
post them on the net. it's your duty.
j8t 0
cougars got it going on, experience says it all and no strings
suckin 0
the_lololagist 11
hahahaha, too funny :D But that does suck, I'm sorry.
VegasFML 0
Cougar magnet.