Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball… right into her face again. FML
Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML
Today, while I was playing football with a friend, my sister wanted to join in. She was messing around with the ball at the start, then suddenly she kicked the ball through my legs, pulled my shorts down and kneed me in the nuts. FML
Today, I was practicing soccer at my school. My team was practicing penalty kicks. It was my turn up and this cute girl that I like was watching off ten feet away from the goal. I was running to take the kick when I slipped and kicked the ball. It hit her head and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, I went to a hockey game. While warm-ups were happening, my favourite player pointed at me and tossed me a puck. It bounced off my hand into another girl's, who was a fan of the other team. She refused to give it back, then walked away and said, "I can't wait to sell this on eBay." FML
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
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Top comments
squinch 16
Puck, that must of hurt.
anyagrande 31
Being hit in the ****** is surprisingly extremely painful- once i ran into a table and the corner hit me in the ****** and i couldn't walk for like an hour
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Comments (103)
BeachGirl27 23
Wow, with teammates like that who needs an opposition team! Hope ice or something relieves some of the pain (I'm crossing my legs just thinking about it!).
Tripartita 45
This is why I wear a cup. At all times. On most parts of my body. The slight pain I suffer from walking, sitting, typing, etc. is absolutely worth it.
Lexiecodd43 8
Should have been wearing a cup.
iliveformystery 18
On her ******? Does anyone truly expect a ****** whack?
lantz4levi 19
You shouldn't play a sport especially one like hockey and expect not to get hit.
Goblin182 27
****** whack! I have to find a way to work that phrase into a sentence.
spudking 19
The only people on a field hockey (it says ball, not puck) pitch with crotch protection are the goalies.
Mettaton_EX 13
"****** whack" (nice aph denmark icon btw #22-)
CamoflaugeKoala 7
If this happened at the CCC event in Newy, I feel for you, a girl from my school got whacked in they eye with the ball. Seems like two days of pain for the whole comp.
igg125 30
I thought vaginas could take a pounding.
Dr_Awesome654 24
Said the 29 year old American male
Darkreign333 23
wrong kind of pounding
lationas 25
It's funny how this kind of humor is frowned upon, and down voted constantly. I made a similar joke about a year ago, and was reported and penalised. Seems like free speech (or the freedom to express your own humor) doesn't apply here, because people have taken it upon themselves to be a sort of moral police. Wonder if this is the comment that gets me banned...
JocelynKaulitz 28
"Pow right in the kisser?"
yungblkrich 7
that's funny
waleedma 18
Be thankful you dont have balls!!!
squinch 16
I'm assuming you're a man. Be thankful you don't have to push a baby out of you're cooch.
XPhoenixFire 17
Well to be fair nobody HAS to push a baby out of their "cooch"
LH_FIRE_22 12
Even then some don't, there are more C-sections than you think. But getting hit in the balls is proven more painful than giving birth. Because of all the nerves in the scrotum.
Crazynocatlady 22
Oh **** off, 37!
Weasely 11
37, no. Ball pain does not last hours with a large object coming out. The ****** usually tears open to some degree (because we're evolutionary flawed basically), and it can tear the skin from the ****** to the anus or above the ******. I think ball pain is more comparable to bad period cramps, based on peoples reactions to both. Both can cause nausea and be debilitating while they last. Of course cramps can last all day, for days, every moth.. and getting hit in the balls potentially can be avoided.
trucker2 33
Would just once like to hear penis hole dilated.... Now for the push
hamusta 13
No, that's just a myth. The thing is that you can't prove what is more painful, because people are individuals and something that is very painful to you doesn't have to be for me. And since childbirth usually lasts for a while and it doesn't hurt the same amount during the whole time, how would that be measured? Especially since giving birth can be everything to not that bad to bad enough to traumatise a person for life.
Nodnarbian 11
To the the down voters of the "be glad you don't have balls" comments, you should google "death from testicular injury" and see why it's much worse for a man to get hit in the groin.
brezzyanna 17
Does it matter if it hurts guys more? It still hurts. It's like saying "you got hit by a car and broke both legs? Who cares? Other people die from getting hit by cars!" Just because other people have it worse, doesn't mean it doesn't suck.
Nodnarbian 11
Its not like saying that at all rofl. For one, I never said anything about pain. I've seen women get hit in the vag, it looks like it hurts like ****, it also can't kill a woman like it can if a man is hit hard enough in the balls.
hfslkp47012759 28
Death by a kick to the testicles is actually just death from cardiac arrest. Women giving natural birth can faint from the pain or become unconscious and die from blood loss, but many do not nowadays since we have better techniques, though my aunt's baby actually broke her spine. Heart attacks are a result of stress. Kicks to the testicles are stressful and painful enough to cause them. But considering the fact that no man I've seen has been able to handle the "birthing pain simulators" to the highest level nor longer than a few minutes, I'd think that men are simply wired to be less tolerant of pain to the genitals.
TisButAScratch 10
I would say "that could happen to me," but I'm a guy…
amileah13 26
Yeah, it's probably don't realize that getting hit in the ****** hurts pretty badly too. Maybe not as badly as getting hit in the balls, but women can tolerate pain better too so.... Was hit with a softball once in the ****** at full speed and it knocked me on my ass. I shudder still thinking about that