Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my boyfriend. Forgetting that my iPhone was in the front pocket of my hoodie, I lifted it quickly and hit myself in the mouth. Now I have a fat bloody lip and a boyfriend who can't stop laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML
Romance isn't dead
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
I'M SORRY!
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Nature ain't all that great
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Not a morning person
Today, I woke up early for work, then yanked my phone by the charger cord on my nightstand to look at it. I gravely underestimated the force by which I pulled the charger and the whiplash of my phone popped me square in the nose. Hard. I have a bruise now. I hope people don't think my boyfriend is a domestic abuser. FML
Score!
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML
Top comments
Jimboom 12
Into self harm? Theres an app for that.
farmgirl 3
Apparently you never learned the difference between sexy and slutty.
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Comments (120)
g3rusz 6
iPhone is a lightweight phone. Try this with the Droid, or with one of the old school Nokia communicators and you'll learn that hitting yourself with an iPhone is not that painful.
urlifesfked 0
wow ydi fir being an idiot
manny0103 0
lmao @ #1 .. FYL to all of those that read FML's to judge ppl and try to correct grammar bs this is not school... this site is to have fun and make fun of other ppl misery or even ur own FYL
TheLetterZero 7
Grammar is not something only used in school. Idiot.
him51772 0
maybe its not JUST for school but theres no point to it here. the only time grammar perfection comes into play is if the FML is so horribly written as to be illegible, otherwise stfu and deal with it
fireandice27 0
Haha that's just stupid.... but what can you expect from someone who goes to a chiropractor???
PhillyFox 0
What's wrong with people who go to chiropractors?
fireandice27 0
The fact that chiropractors don't seem to know what evidence based medicine is and their treatments don't offer any valid medical treatment. In fact, you are at harm from going to a chiropractor. I'm a medical student and I've seen the negative consequences of chiropractic treatment with my own eyes, and have heard numerous other horror stories from other doctors and professors. People may say that chiropractors work, but there still remains no valid EBM for the treatment. And to be honest, it is utterly ridiculous and highly dangerous that spinal manipulation (especially high-neck manipulaton) be used to treat a variety of health problems such as ear infections, GI tract problems and MS, and the thought that have a beneficial effect on the health of organs. Unfortunately many people fall for the promises that chiropractors give, either out of naivety or just plain stupidity.
fireandice27 0
But I'm not going to get into a huge argument about it. I dislike chiropractors and their methods as I consider them to be dangerous, and that's the end of what I'm going to say about that. But arguing about chiropractors and their methods isn't the point of this site... It's kinda off track anyway. IMHO, going to a chiropractor = silly mistake, and flashing your boyfriend because you don't know the difference between slutty and sexy = silly mistake. Basically OP = silly. So yeah.... not really going to respond to any people that want an argument :)
ellabella00 0
I logged on for the sole purpose of trying to warn people about the dangers of chiropractors! I'm glad that someone did that for me already. :)
RuralNinja 0
#32 is full of himself. Most doctors nowadays are basically prescription writing machines. Modern medicine has been reduced to doctors taking payouts from drug companies to ensure they prescribe as many drugs as possible. Its not about the patient, its not about treating the causes of the illness, its about making money by treating the symptoms with overpriced drugs.
RuralNinja 0
Here's something else to ponder. Ideally, which drug would a drug company want to produce for a chronic illness? 1. A drug which cures the illness and the symptoms. 2. A drug which "cures" the illness and the symptoms, so long as the drug is continuously taken. Any drug company would say #2. They are heartless corporations driven by some of the worst desires in humanity, but epitomized by greed.
tamtam1 0
it is while in the waiting room number 5. as it is called the waiting room. well at least it is in England you strange person.
Residence_fml 4
Even though I'm a girl and not into girls I pressed YDI and FYL. YDI because when flashing - do it right, FYL at least you're not a boring girlfriend
ScaryyMary 14
What's the point of pressing both? Pick one or don't vote!
termt 0
lately, it seems like there's more "i'm stupid"-days then"**** my life"-days
Mike_H0ck 1
Where can i find i girl like this? I love boobies.. not to mention, fat lips could be a good thing too.. win win if you ask me
lostfaithinpppl 19
OP, if you are going to flash someone do it right. Otherwise, you are just a clumsy moron.
theservant 1
YDI for believing in chiropractic. quack quack!