Today, while I was at work at a nursing home I was attempting to dress a woman for bed. She popped me a left hook and I had to ask the nurse to look at my jaw. After my nurse said I was okay she asked me to continue getting the woman dressed for bed. She hit me 5 more times. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML
Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after, complaining they were too expensive. FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML
Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML
Today, I found out that my boss was actually legally obligated to send me to the hospital after I was hit on the head while working. I had to finish the entire work day while heavily concussed, and by the time I got to the ER I had lost complete feeling in my right side. They asked me to come in the day after. FML
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Top comments
you_and_me_fml 8
Oh the old people..
robincakes94 8
I would have stopped trying to dress her after my second hit.
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Comments (116)
you_and_me_fml 8
Oh the old people..
hannahcorrine 0
She sounds like a good beat boxer
nadyy14 8
Yeah, the oldies are always the best!
Em_I_Am 5
Come on, she's just an old lady! YDI for being a wimp.
tona01 16
23 you say wimp now, but you don't know that the old lady was actually rocky's mom.
EvilPotato 15
How's your jaw now OP.
SCREAM4meeee 0
"How'd you get that bruised face?" "Oh and old lady in a home beat me up."
blackheart24 10
The elderly are out to get us! I'm convinced.
derek2143 0
you deserve it! this is what happens at nursing homes deal with it
primadonna9396 16
I find it hilarious that the woman didn't have the strength to pull on a nightgown, but was capable of popping you in the face. It does happen though, my grandmother can't open a Pepsi but whacked me with her cane hard enough to leave a bruise for 2 weeks. Geriatric super strength FTW.
Michael_Kelso 0
That must be annoying op. Hope you're making a damn decent salary. Maybe hazard pay.
Evan___B 4
Dementia!
Em_I_Am 5
That's her excuse anyway..
max_wilder 9
Atleast she didn't wana give u a ********
phoenixslayer69 4
Nothing wrong, with a good gumming.
Fruit_Dealer 9
Leav'em here, we'll watch them.
Malkria 1
Sorry OP I should've warned you about my grandma.... :)
nadyy14 8
Oh please! Tell your grandma to pay attention next time!
ThreeSheetsGone 12
what the hell does paying attention have to do with anything? Granny just put the smackdown on OP's candy ass. Can you smellelelelell....what the Granny....is....cookin? *shoots the People's eyebrow*
pitchblease 2
Ah hell nah, let's whoop this old persons ass right now!
pitchblease 2
Nobody gets the boondocks reference?
Savra_fml 17
Obviously not
Nutty4Muffs 3
I did, after you said Boondocks.
MrRuffyboots 0
The elderly are always the most dangerous.
thaduck 0
Haha
thaduck 0
Haha
m0tl3ycru3 0
When grandmas attack
whited666 0
Do you know the definition of insanity?
Em_I_Am 5
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
lexex1 4
That's not the actual definition..that was just how Einstein defined it
SirSquishyPants 1
You have a better way to describe it?
lexex1 4
The state of being seriously mentally ill..
ChrisTheCalm 9
Thats when you pull her plug when nobody's looking...
iBanana 17
...Then she'd go to prison for murder.
thatonename 7
The cleaning staff must have knocked it out of the wall while vacuuming, right?
bobby94_fml 0
Lol cmon people thats funny you guys are way too serious its called a joke :)
techweed 12
Tell her to GO **** HERSELF!!!
Sionnach 10
Just hit her back. She's old and obviously out of it. In five minutes she'll have forgotten the whole thing, but the pain ought to serve as a good reminder that she did something wrong. Or, if she's having a laugh at your expense and thinks she can get away with it because of her advanced years, you'll have taught the old bat not to **** with you.
fayettie 3
Smack the the elderly? ...great advice that is.
leadman1989 16
Your picture looks so evil. I like it!
phoenixslayer69 4
What the **** is wrong with you. Hit the elderly that needs help getting changed? They should be respected and helped. You, are a sick ******* freak and should be smacked so you know you did something wrong. You sick **** you disgust me.
leadman1989 16
This is why you always bring a treat filled with sedatives... she has no teeth and she's diabetic? This is why you always bring a stungun and tranquilizer gun. Or wear on of those boxing training helmets!