Today, I had a bad and very unenthusiastic one night stand and tried to quietly order an Uber while she was getting dressed. Turns out, she's an Uber driver and being as she was in the area, the alert came over her phone. She was furious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the worst blind date ever, so I tried to secretly request an Uber to get out of there. My date then picked up his phone, receiving my request. Turns out he's an Uber driver and he was looking for a reason to get out of the date too. FML
Today, my Tinder date arranged an Uber to pick her up before we had even finished our appetizers. She was so bored she couldn't be bothered to stay for the whole meal. FML
Today, I got into an Uber, excited for the date I was going to. After about 20 minutes, I had a confused conversation with the driver, because it seemed like we were going to the wrong address. I checked the app, I'd booked a ride to my ex’s place out of habit. FML
Today, I met a woman at a bar, and we went back to my place with her whispering many filthy things in my ear. Then my key broke inside the lock. It was 2 a.m. and freezing, and she was in a dress, I suggested a hotel, but she was now so cold and angry, she got back in our Uber which hadn't left yet and went home. FML
Today, I refused to have sex with my date, so he called me an Uber from the restaurant to just take me home. I didn’t realise until I got home it wasn’t even an Uber, just a standard taxi who required payment in either cash or debit card, and I had to pay before he’d let me out. FML
Today, my Uber driver tried to detour my trip home to take me on a date to Waffle House, even after I showed zero interest and talked about my boyfriend non-stop. FML
Today, I woke up feeling like I was on top of the world, until I got to work and I was demoted. Then I ordered Uber Eats for lunch, the driver was late and gave me the wrong meal. The worst part was when I got home and was dumped by my girlfriend via text. FML
Today, after many attempts at getting my girlfriend to ride the bus to see me rather than taking Uber, she finally did. She ended up meeting a man who convinced her that she should break up with me. She listened. FML
Today, I was getting into a Uber after a long day at work. I opened the door, sat down, and started venting to the driver about my horrible day. Five minutes in, I realized I had climbed into a random stranger’s car. He didn’t even tell me; he just let me complain. FML
Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place, then sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML
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Top comments
008GGG 14
I could be mistaken, so someone please correct me if I am... but don’t Uber drivers have to check in and be online if they are “on the clock” and available to drive? Why would your date have been online at that point in time?
timinator5000 28
Well considering she was already online and accepting ride requests, I think it's safe to say neither one of you had a good time.
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Comments (13)
mfranks19891989 10
I think you acted like a chicken. You should have just told her the truth, that the date was unenthusiastic and you don’t think you 2 would be a couple. She might not be happy about it. But it’s better then running away.
008GGG 14
I could be mistaken, so someone please correct me if I am... but don’t Uber drivers have to check in and be online if they are “on the clock” and available to drive? Why would your date have been online at that point in time?
Sagar Nair 12
Yeah you have to be online in order to get rides. Most likely she went online right before she got ready and was planning on making some bucks.
Kennethtaylor377 12
But did she drive you home? lol
RichardPencil 32
I'm sure that ride home was... ...wait on it.., Uber-awkward. How many stars did you give her, and which ride did you rate?
timinator5000 28
Well considering she was already online and accepting ride requests, I think it's safe to say neither one of you had a good time.
lj2000 5
Always drive to the one night stand so you can run when she’s crazy. These hoes can’t he trusted.
bosniangirl27 21
She can’t be mad at that because for her to get the notification she would have to been online. Thats how she got the notification. So she was looking to leave too
bl3ur0z3 17
Why? She was logged on to take jobs.
mas12806 24
Since she was getting dressed, you had finished. What exactly did she expect afterwards?
Sheila Deville 15
it is far better to lay with one person 1000 times than it is to lay with 1000 people once, this and many other scenarios are the proof of truth in that statement