Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, 4 miles into a mountain hike with my crush, I suddenly felt a stomach pain, followed by the urge for explosive diarrhea. I had to stand still with my butt clenched to prevent shitting myself. There were no nearby bathrooms, and I didn't have any toilet paper. It was messy. She'll never see me the same. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
dirton89 7
FYL but hey...you gotta do what you gotta do. She understands hopefully
sleepinginclass 8
You were fine until you said to spray axe.
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Comments (83)
buddy51 23
You didn't actually seduce her yet...you grossed her out instead. Way to go!!! A guaranteed sexless life from now on!!!!
IconicLemon 8
Gross her out? as long as he didnt put an image in her head by saying "oh wow needed that shit" or come back smelling of it, i would hardly doubt it. And besides we all do it, nothing to be ashamed off, just dont go telling everyone about it. Given not a nice image of anyone ********, but it happens and cant be helped.
JanisEvans 10
What are you? 12?
buddy51 23
11. Precocious though.
Enslaved 38
Not with that crusty, smelly ass crawling back into bed without showering and freshening up first. :P
edd1987 9
Noor!!!
efrainelboricua 12
Anyone else curious to if op is a boy or if this is a lesbian couple?
j_cat187 20
I don't know, does it matter?
jatinbhanot 6
the best you can do is act cute and hope she likes you enough to not get disgusted.. :)
rockbandaddict85 22
I wouldn't worry much. its a perfectly human bodily function. can be embarrassing at times. leave it be. the more you drawl attention to it the worse it will be.
picturescrazy 24
Turn on the sink or bathroom fan (or both...) next time! It happens, but if you know it's going to be noisy, it helps to at least try to cover it up!
shaww 28
FYL... too bad it was that type of poop, usually you can hold it in
smacka98 1
unless she has a poop fetish.
missababgaga 19
Maybe that will make her more comfortable around you if she ever needs to do the same! If anything, she might appreciate that you were able to do that with her nearby because it would show her that you're comfortable around her as well, even though that wasn't the case at the time. Hopefully all went well :) (and hopefully I made sense)