Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry… The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML
Today, at the laundromat. I loaded a huge load into the top dryer, put all the quarters in, and started the bottom one. I realized my mistake when I came to check on it. FML
Today, I went to pick up my laundry from the communal machines in my apartment building. When I got there, all my clothes were neatly folded on top of the dryer. I was impressed, until I realized half of the pile wasn’t mine. I'd been carrying someone else’s underwear up to my apartment. FML
Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat for the first time. I fit all of my clothes into two washers. Not knowing where to put the soap in, I asked a man doing his laundry, "Excuse me, where do I put the soap in?". He replied, "Ma'am, those are the dryers." FML
Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML
Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said, "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML
Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML
Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
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Top comments
mcxhunni 0
maybe she thought you might have been referring to your dick... not dumping on yourself...
mxpklx 12
someones socially awkward.
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Comments (190)
jandera 0
Your not givin it go her right.
bonnie_vb8 5
very nice haha double meaning
Wookies 2
At that moment you want to eat a Twix to pause and think things over...then ask her how much a polar bear weighs.
oatmeal_boi 6
Win.
method_men25 2
BRILLIANT!! Either she's laughing so hard chocolate milk is coming out her nose, or she 'hears her laundry is ready...' either way there's no question of what she thinks of you!!
pinkspaceboundro 0
I would have burst out laughing!!!
JesterMarcus 0
Nothing wrong with subtly informing her that you are very fertile.
SpeakingMyMind 0
I see an increase on rent in your future.
wordnerd42 0
Lock eyes... from across the room...
james3458 3
down my drink while the speakers boom lol
ferrarixxx20 1
sometimes you gotta let them know what your holding in there, kudos
Snowlight_fml 7
Like a boss
Boomer21 0
And then you jizzed in your pants...