Today, as things were finally heating up with a guy I'm interested in, his ex-girlfriend from two months ago called. Guess who's pregnant and guess who's still in a seven-month dry spell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a message from a woman. It was my boyfriend of five years' ex-girlfriend, telling me that she’s pregnant with his baby and that they’ve been together for a year. FML
Today, I found out the girl my boyfriend was seeing just before me is pregnant. FML
Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML
Today, the guy I’ve been seeing for a couple of months and started falling for told me his ex-girlfriend is pregnant with his child. I’m so bummed because kids and baby mamas are my number one deal-breaker. I really liked him too. FML
Today, I found out that my ex is expecting another kid. Not only is this a man who tried to hook up with me last month, he's also the one who, when I asked him to pay child support for our two, told me that he could just "make some more". Guess he was right. FML
Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
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Top comments
bluhbluhbluh 14
cheer up! at least you're not pregnant with your ex boyfriend's baby!
julfunky 29
So as things are “heating up” he stops to take a call from his ex-girlfriend?
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Comments (15)
interesting33 37
ooohhhh ooh oh! is it you? I suppose some consolation is that you aren't pregnant when you don't want to be