Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was skating with my friends when I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was, "Look out!" I now have twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML
Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML
Today, I rode a skateboard down a street past a busy two-story outdoor cafe. As I rode by, a group of people thought it'd be funny to kick stray pebbles at my wheels, trying to make me trip. It worked. My backpack ripped open in the process letting all my school-work float away in the wind. FML
Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML
Today, I went ice skating at a place with the most terrible rental skates. Pair 1 was too worn out, pair 2 too small, pair 3 damaged inside. I thought pair 4 was finally a winner, until I got on the ice and realized the blades were fucked. I went flying forward, landed hard, and slid across the ice like a penguin. FML
Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
williamcarter93 13
I can see this being made into a movie.
NeinKittenz 20
I didn't choose the skate life, the skate life chose me.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
interesting33 37
That is truly terrible. Homophobia and violence is terrible. And it sounds like they were just looking for a fight
sacmaster 11
I think they said 'homie*' not '****'. But, all the same, homophobia is terrible :(
Zebediabolical 45
I don't see any homophobia here. Just sayin.
buckdharma 38
#32- your profile pic makes me hungry.
Myo_fml 20
Are you insinuating that the OP is a homosexual?
Psych101 9
50- *implying, not insinuating.
lyssgross 16
That's actually kind of amusing. Must've been scary while it was happening though, OP.
alfred07 18
What is wrong with some people?
GermanBlueEyes 3
Lol dang man
LyraAlluse 25
I've had something similar happen to me. Except it was at night, walking with friends in a normally good part of town and getting chased by drunk clowns wielding knives.
maximumDERP 6
get your conceal carry permit. a pistol would have made them real polite real quick
Chumsword 8
Or it would make them pull out theirs.. If they had no problems chasing OP with bats then escalating to pistols probably wouldn't phase them too well.
derptitude 4
if you carry, like I do, then you must have the commitment to not become a victim and pull that ******* trigger
worldclassrager 41
Well you know not to go down that street again...at least they didn't bring out guns on you...
whyisitincapital 25
What a lovely neighbourhood. Better start packing heat OP.
Sanchez1984 6
Where they Mexican? if so how cool LOL
apostrophe_fml 7
It took me a while to figure out that you didn't mean ice skating. Apparently I'm too Canadian :P Sounds kind of scary though, I hope you're okay