Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was skating with my friends when I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was, "Look out!" I now have twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML
Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML
Today, I rode a skateboard down a street past a busy two-story outdoor cafe. As I rode by, a group of people thought it'd be funny to kick stray pebbles at my wheels, trying to make me trip. It worked. My backpack ripped open in the process letting all my school-work float away in the wind. FML
Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML
Today, I went ice skating at a place with the most terrible rental skates. Pair 1 was too worn out, pair 2 too small, pair 3 damaged inside. I thought pair 4 was finally a winner, until I got on the ice and realized the blades were fucked. I went flying forward, landed hard, and slid across the ice like a penguin. FML
Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
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Top comments
williamcarter93 13
I can see this being made into a movie.
NeinKittenz 20
I didn't choose the skate life, the skate life chose me.
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Comments (111)
golden_warrior 23
I swear they should put all these first world gangsters in a third world country for a week and see if they really like that lifestyle.
jipster 11
That doesn't make any sense.
Catkam623 27
Actually it makes a lot of sense
ExoticWaffles 14
What doesn't make any sense? That comment was pretty clear.
ItsAnanya 25
Did you know that third world countries are not actually poor and undeveloped countries. They were the countries which were neither allied to USA , nor Russia during the the Cold War. *proud face* My GeoPolitics teacher would be so proud.
Uhscanherdarklee 10
52 That's not really accurate. For example, I'm pretty sure Haiti is poor and undeveloped. It's the main reason the Haiti earthquake did so much damage. I don't think third world relates directly (if at all) to who they were aligned with.
CommentModerated 17
I have to chime in that she's technically right. But since most of the nuetral countries were extremely poor, and non-industrialized, it became a stereotype to refer to poor countries as "third world countries". As I understand, the term is generally accepted both ways, but more commonly in reference to poor countries.
eMurpH 9
They would be richer there then here so they probably wouldn't even attempt to live the same lifestyle.
Uhscanherdarklee 10
66 I was commenting on the fact that she said third world countries aren't poor and undeveloped. I assumed she meant third world countries only refer to the neutral countries during the war, and didn't pertain to the living standards there. But that is interesting if that's how the term developed, I never knew how it originated.
ItsAnanya 25
Most of the third world countries are poor yep , but that is not the true definition of the term. But since so many people began to refer poor and undeveloped countries as "third world countries " without knowing the actual meaning, gradually everyone started using it in the other sense . The UAE and Saudi Arabia? They are third world countries but are very rich ( not as much as the world super powers , but yes, they are very rich ) . Well you learn something new everyday yeah? ^~^
Azail 15
Political Science major here. I'm pretty sure Saudi Arabia is a pretty important ally of the United States now so calling it a "third world" country by the proper definition is invalid.
freshko21 6
Ummm, I like turtles! :D
tchatfield9413 6
http://www.nationsonline.org/oneworld/third_world_countries.htm
seniorchang 16
How tragic! It's likely that you are too young to have laughed at the word play while fearing for your life. Sad. Just sad. Next time they should use a more contemporary threat.
n4ture 20
that's a scary shit
MichaelT17 9
I got u I liked it I won't let ya go down -11 likes
redmane 21
#44, I got you. I made it even and put you down to -10. You're welcome.
Wizardo 34
'They see me rollin', they hatin', tryna catch me ridin' dirty'.
RockN 10
"run to the hill, run for your life"
Offspring_fml 27
Gotta love the maiden.
freshko21 6
Pditty and his bad boys must be really bored these days
freshko21 6
I dare the next person to unlike my comment to explain why? I actually thought it was quite clever.
ApologyKick 25
You said "I dare the next person to unlike comment..." so I did. But I too thought it was funny, so don't worry let 'me hate!
RoboCunnilingus 23
Diddy...
KrustyKrap 5
But you gotta respect Diddy for at least giving Biggie the recognition he deserved. It's just too bad it didn't last longer. :( R.I.P The Notorious B.I.G 1972-1997
perdix 31
New Hampshire ought to consider this to "freshen up" their state motto.
_DudeGuy_ 16
As a resident of New Hampshire (I lied on my profile), I would love for this to happen.
PenguinBitch 44
I didn't grab no shoes or nothin,' Jesus. I skated for my life!
sacmaster 11
Another classic reference. Personal fav:)
dead_insects 18
that's when you find a hill and utilize gravity..
yoyoyowhatup 11
YOU CAME TO THE WRONG NEIGHBORHOOD, ************.