Today, the moment after hitting "confirm payment" for my boyfriend's valentine gift (along with some sexy lingerie for the occasion) on a shopping app, my period tracker app popped up to let me know I'll be well into my period on the 14th. I'm getting cockblocked by mother nature herself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML
Today, I went on a first date. We had the same phone, and we'd put them down next to each other on the table. I get a message and we both look. It’s my period tracker telling me to be careful, because the floodgates are opening. FML
Today, my boyfriend is threatening to dump me if I don’t give him all the details of my menstruation so he can track my periods with an app on his phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend flipped out when he saw a period tracker app on my phone. According to him, chicks only use those when they want to know when they’re the most fertile so they can “baby trap” a man. I have irregular cycles. The app helps me know when I should or shouldn’t expect a period. FML
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I told him, he impatiently said, "Is it over yet?" FML
Today, my period started. It wouldn't be a big deal if it hadn't happened while I was in my karate class practicing kicks, and if the guy I have a crush on hadn't informed me of it after chuckling. FML
Today, I noticed that on the calendar in my boyfriend’s apartment, for every week of the months when I have my period are coloured in red and over them, in block capitals, he has written 'BEWARE'. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he could predict my periods because he keeps track of when I'm at my bitchiest each month. This wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so accurate. FML
Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RandomnGuyZ 9
Anal.
epicgamer 18
Just make up for it on a different date.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
UltimateBob 11
That only matters if you make it matter
maharb01 17
run the red light! and/or have some fun in the shower. really no need to change your end of evening plans on the 14th and if anything is an opportunity for a non standard scenario
Tillie Jenkins 5
You can still have sex on your period...
extremereviews 26
Time to stir the paint
morgan_fffff 7
The pill can save you
caseyface1123 15
If you're on the pill, just start the next pack. It should let you 'skip' it for the month and its not bad for you. I did this when my (now ex) boy friend was in town.
SassySlytherin 16
i agree, it doesn't do harm to start a new pack immediately
TaoShaman 24
Do something else? You can be close without having to have sex. Or like other people said. Reschedule since Valentine's Day isn't a real holiday anyway. Or just do it anyway if you're both okay with it. So, so many options.
zeeba_neighba 10
I'll wade in the Red River, I just won't drink from it.
timinator5000 28
A little blood never hurt anyone. ;) Earn your red wings. If you're worried about clean up have him wear a condom and put a towel down. Sexy fun actually can help with cramps.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Get some condoms, and a towel, and carry on as normal.