Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, after being kept awake all night by my house-mate and his girlfriend, they woke me at the crack of dawn to apologize for being so loud. FML
Today, after a great night of sexual ecstacy, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year-old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night, he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
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Top comments
ThorsSon 0
Dude... you are getting laid... your woman is obviously enjoying it... she is not ashamed of it... and your neighbor is cool with it? If these are bad things for you, I will gladly come fill in for you.
ZleveL 0
umm you are #9
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Comments (45)
Iso_fml 0
The FML here is that the girlfriend was ******* the neighbour
kaileylovesyew 4
Umm... No it's not... Not at all...!
PerditaDessa 38
How did you come up with that?
Dooms_day 5
lulz0rz
romanj8 0
This isn't a ******* FML, you got laid an ur bitch was loud enough that ur awesome nieghbor could hear, post something when ur life is really ****** YDI
CrazyTheRaver 0
I Agree with #12. If she is screaming loud enough for the neighbors to hear you're doing your job well. Give yourself a pat on the back buddy...
bookworm8188 0
so not an fml ur clearly doing a good job
heygirlhey313 0
lmaooo. this is too good.
mich99 0
hot
pulpfiction_fml 3
Share the love, man, share the love.
Seven47 0
f**** neighbors have sex till you die lol
im_a_dinosaur 0
hahahaha eww watta creepy neighbour