Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML
Today, my coworker and I debated whether 100 average dudes could take down one gorilla. He said, "Only if 30 of us are willing to die." I disagreed, so we started working it out, using a whiteboard to do the math… which we forgot to wipe before the next meeting. HR now has us on a watchlist. FML
Today, my teacher walked into class and said, "Look to your left and right, one of those persons you just looked at will fail the upcoming exam." When asked why, she said too many people passed last year's exam. She was dead serious. FML
Today, I was doing my job and trying to teach a lazy bunch of 16-year-olds. A girl entered the room just 15 minutes before class ended, so I snapped, "Someone had better have died for you to be this late!" She immediately burst into tears. Turns out, someone had. FML
Today, I had environmental science class. My teacher doesn't believe humans are affecting climate change or that we should protect endangered species. He slants class discussions so now all my classmates agree with him. FML
Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML
Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML
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Top comments
HowAreYouToday 34
The koala army wants *you*
akiahara 14
She's clearly a very balanced individual, perfectly suited for motivational speaking..
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Comments (107)
septemberpeaches 8
How much is the enlistment bonus?
tommyfox 19
That sounds beary stupid.
Corrupt_waffles 13
Koalas aren't related to true bears. They are marsupials. They have their undeveloped young crawl into a pouch to finish growing. In fact they are closer related to kangaroos. The more you know.
gc327072 31
They're not bears?! B-but… they have all the koalifications!
perdix 31
25,000? I can only eat 3, maybe 4!
SenselessPattern 12
But what of dessert!?
chris_42 11
The Koala Army is actually isn't that bad despite all the bad rap it gets. It's much better then the Koala Navy and Air Force.
deet124 11
I wonder if they would fight alongside Conker...
2035 9
Join the dropbear army instead!
Not_Impressed13 9
Ahhh.. The benefits of paying for a university education...
gracehi 33
When there's a situation in which smiling or giggling would be inappropriate, but I have the urge to do so, I imagine a litter of puppies lying dead in a gutter, and then I don't feel like smiling or giggling anymore. Just thought I'd share, since this FML also involves imaginary adorable, furry, cuddly deed animals.
lexi365 20
What. The. ****?
SystemofaBlink41 27
That's...great... Now go play in the mud, Gracie...
gracehi 33
You say that like it's an insult, 97, but what I'm hearing is brilliant suggestion for a fun activity.
ForeverAloneGal 23
That's insane. I don't even..
MrConcise 35
FML always makes me feel much better about my decision to drop out of college.
NurseJonathan 9
So...How much is your current job paying you?
gracehi 33
That's a pretty personal question, 38. And considering that a lot of college educated people these days STILL can't get a job and have thousands of dollars of debt on top of it, it might not have been a bad decision to drop out. College isn't for everybody, and I think it's really overrated these days. Don't be a such a snob because someone decided they didn't need college degree.
NurseJonathan 9
Did I take a position of superiority? I don't recall that part. Honestly though, college is still helpful if you have a job or not. Have you seen some of the unintelligent individuals who walk about pretending the world owes them something? Besides. To aim for a good and hopefully stable career, a college degree could support you and at least make you stand out a bit from the others signing up for a job.
gracehi 33
You asked about what his current job pays. I'm going to take an educated guess and say that it was likely because you assumed he has a low paying job because he dropped out of college. If that's not snobby, I don't know what is.
NurseJonathan 9
What is snobby is the earlier FML with wine flying from the Original Poster's nose.
EvilUndead 9
55, Depending on your field of interest you might do just fine without college education. Or even better than if you had one. Still, it depends on your field, character, talents and your brain. Having no college education probably won't work with medical career, but might work just fine with art, music, starting own business, writing, freelancing, sales or small-scale software development. Your region might also have jobs that do not require high level education, but pays really well due to tough conditions, although that's less "intellectual" path. On other hand, some people finish college/university and then can't find a decent job anyway. So while having an education might work in your favor, having an education guarantees nothing. You can always fail and die in a ditch.
gracehi 33
Yeah, I think it's stupid when people go to college "just because," having no idea what they want to do with their lives. If that's the case, you'd be better off getting an entry-level job until you figure it out. Art least then you'll be making rather than spending money.
jem970 19
Yeah, look at art history majors. No way to make a career out of that. You don't always need a college degree to make a great living. It helps sometimes but isn't a prerequisite.
MrConcise 35
I make very little at the moment, but more than minimum wage. I'm not at all ashamed of it. I'm training in the field of business and practice multiple forms of design in my spare time. I'd prefer experience over traditional education under any circumstance.
MrConcise 35
Oh, and if I needed to have similar learning tools that college students have access to, there are plenty of free lectures online.