Today, I staged an intervention for my dad, because his midlife crisis has spun out of control. When I told him he's now basically endangering his own life, he replied "Everyone's gonna die someday. Some sooner than others, eh porky?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my mom and I staged an intervention for my alcoholic dad. Within minutes he'd turned everything around on us, claiming we're in no position to judge him for drinking since we use "too much water" when we shower. Apparently that's on the same level as being an abusive alcoholic. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, my dad told me, in the form of a soliloquy, to have a better attitude about death and dying. I have terminal cancer. FML
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, I tried to confront my parents with the fact that they're almost certainly going to outlive me unless I radically change my lifestyle, and that I needed their assistance to help me stay on track. I only realized after my impassioned speech that they were ignoring me the whole time. FML
Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML
Today, I witnessed a man die from a heart attack. When I told my dad later, he said "Lose some weight or you'll be next." FML
Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
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Top comments
KneeJerker 24
Sounds like your father doesn't care for his well-being or his family's feelings. Sorry OP. At least you tried to help?
JustATeenageMess 21
Don't worry OP, he's just insecure and lashing out. At least you tried, those who do not want help cannot be helped.
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Comments (50)
Ethan_Anonymous 28
How dare you care for your fathers life, smh
BloodyGlass 10
And that's when you murdered him. X)
bulletsinthewind 21
He probably just snapped at you like that because you called him out on his issue, and he doesn't want to face that he has an issue. He'll snap out of it sooner or later. Hopefully sooner, seeing how he's going about it. He might come to feel bad about it once he comes back down from his moment
olpally 33
He needs a psychiatrist.... Wow. :/
iHateHippiesToo 6
Yeah. You probably ought to get your life together before you try to tell your dad how to run his.
ChopSuey444 20
What on earth indicated that OP doesn't have their life together? The porky comment? Because OP was called porky, that means (s)he has a problem? That's ridiculous. OP's dad probably just didn't want to admit he had a problem, and tried to make OP feel bad for hosting the intervention. There's no reason to believe OP actually has some huge weight issue and doesn't "have his/her life together."
jeffprobs 29
Mid-life crisis are just that a crisis, but the thing about crisis's is that they always end, patience+time+help=a safer dad good luck op
Alexandria79 22
intervention is about as effective as hiding a smoker's cigarettes. you need to get down to the root of the problem. this may not be possible without a therapist but it starts with opening up the lines of communication and not being his parent.
Mathalamus 25
He isn't wrong. Everybody does die sometime.
mixximoo 24
That is so insensitive sorry OP
MrsHoffman 11
As long he is not drinking himself to death or going wild on meth, OP should mind his own business. Father is an adult, let him run his own life.
iwadasn 33
She said he's now endangering his life, so I'm guessing his family has every right to be concerned about him.