Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

Bee in her bonnet

Today, my wife bumped into my ex-girlfriend from before we met. My wife said that she’s glad she's hotter than her, and we laughed. She has now mentioned this every hour since then, and now insists I list the reasons why she’s hotter. FML

Today, my wife sent me a text expressing her "love and thinking to the future with you, Chad". Too bad my name isn't Chad. FML

The patriarchy rules

Today, I was talking to a new friend when I told him my last name. It’s hyphenated. He then left and declared me to be a "stuck-up bitch" who thinks she’s "too good to take a man’s last name." This is the name I was born with. FML

Settled

Today, my wife admitted that she settled for me because I had a good job and made enough for her to live comfortably. I shouldn't worry though, because now she's old enough that she won't be able to pull anyone more exciting or attractive. FML