RejectRaven
Today, my two year old got out of her crib while I was sleeping and destroyed $700 worth of my makeup from Sephora. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
How d'you think I look so good?
Today, I got home and my wife asked me to help yell at the kids for ruining over £1000 of her makeup supplies. I did an almost double take at the fact I had no idea she had spent over £1000 just on makeup. No wonder we’re always broke the end of the month. FML
Anonymous
And you did it at my birthday dinner
Today, as a makeup influencer, I came home to find my entire makeup collection destroyed. She dumped, stomped, and covered it all in used kitty litter for good measure. My obsessively jealous girlfriend swore I was dressing up for another woman. My collection was worth over $1800. FML
redisnotmycolor
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Skincare routine
Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML
Carolina R-h
Stinky
Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML
Mom of 3
So sweet
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Anonymous
Gary, United States
Happy health warning!
Today, I stayed up until 2 a.m. building my daughter's birthday present because I wanted everything to be perfect when she woke up. She opened the little oven door on the toy kitchen, and the whole thing collapsed onto the floor. I found an unopened bag of screws sitting on the table. FML
mommylife
Schaumburg, United States
Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly six minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML
shitface
Australia
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
hair2daygone4ever
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United States
**** my shit up
Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML
Anonymous
Primitive art
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Top comments
Alup132 22
The real question is, why are you spending $700 on makeup?
acmariner99 25
I sympathize and yet I don’t. I have a toddler so I know about this particular force of nature. I also know that when she gets into things, its usually my fault for not locking it up or laying down the law.
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Comments (46)
Malyssab 23
Damn, so she only destroyed 3 things?
AmbrosiaFan 19
What is so amazingly sad is you spend that much money on makeup...
fallenkitten93 3
wow..
MamaChey 24
I can’t ever remember ready a post with so many trolls on it. You people need to get a fukkin life. I had the same thing happen when my kids were little, except the toddler covered her sleeping infant sister (who was cradled in her Dad’s arms as he was napping with her). 2 yo are sneaky ones, for sure
Gofuckyourself 24
Why would you leave $700 worth of makeup where a toddler could get their hands on to? I feel for you because makeup isn't cheap!!!!