Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried therapy to talk about my problems without feeling like i am harassing anyone. After messaging a therapist for over 2 hours, I felt way better and finally understood. It turned out I'm in such a bad mental state that I'm a danger to myself and others. Police were called by the therapist. FML
Today, I’m mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted, and I feel like the only person I can talk to who actually listens is my therapist. FML
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
Today, my obsession with my mean ex-girlfriend returned. It ended 9 years ago. It happened when I started researching self-help. Now, I can’t stop thinking about that selfish piece of shit. FML
Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML
Today, while I was explaining my troubles to my therapist, he asked me, "And don't you have someone you can tell all that?" FML
Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML
Today, I've been seeing a therapist after more than 20 years of struggles. I think I saw him cry during our sessions a few times. I guess that my inability to live my life at the fullest was hard earned. FML
Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML
Today, I’m going to school to become a therapist. Now anyone I tell that to, they now vomit their life stories to me. FML
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Top comments
luvtheknot 6
That's...one of the creepiest things I've ever heard. FYL bro.
zombiekitten87 12
Perhaps you should see a male therapist, then.
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Comments (94)
luvtheknot 6
That's...one of the creepiest things I've ever heard. FYL bro.
Classlfied 4
Oh the natural attraction between a man and his shrink.
kyarush 10
And to think, some lucky bastard out there is sleeping with his shrink!
Nekogami 14
Giggity.
poloy325 9
I read that in quagmire's voice
bonsaiboy26 1
At least he admits it
loclinton 8
You may be better suited with a man
CrookedCook 14
that's what I was thinking too. but perhaps with the therapist being a female and all, OP can feel more accomplished with the challenge of being able to have his cake, but not eat it.
MoodyBlue320 11
That's me with guys omg >_>
perdix 31
#2, I don't think so. If the OP goes gay, he'll just obsess over every MAN that talks to him. That doesn't fix his problem, it justs gives him a new one to replace the old.
dathan 14
lol 37 what? he was talking about a male therapist. not turning gay.
KMtheDrummer 6
Easy to misinterpret.
davestrider 0
#57 it's extremely easy to misinterpret I thought #2 was talking about OP "going gay" and I was trying to figure out how that'd help
rangerPat 12
37- that's pretty a new way to look at it I guess... Op is attracted to females and can't stop thinking about being with any girl they come in contact with, he doesn't have a problem talking to men so therefore he doesn't hold them in the same sexual light as females.... Hmmm I don't think homosexuality is at the root of this.
ilovefall10 21
Hey, you're getting help. That's up step down up....right?
flockz 20
only if left right up up crouch..... backwards.
Yourheadache 19
What?! O.o
ScaughtieHolden 11
Cheat unlocked: Key to all women's pants.
shannagregson 3
Thanks for the laugh, I just about fell out of my chair!
shannagregson 3
That was for #20
UncleMuscles 5
up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right.
zombiekitten87 12
Perhaps you should see a male therapist, then.
drewcat21 0
You'd think That would be the logical solution wouldn't you? Lol
prioo 6
7 - op said he obsesses over women, I don't see why this wouldn't help him.
Rosicles 8
Uh because then perhaps he would focus on the matter at hand rather than obsessing over his female therapist?
SystemofaBlink41 27
This is #2's comment but worded better...
Schizomaniac 24
Bust in in lumber jack gear and tell her you traveled a long distance to give her your seed.
Darian66 5
Works every time
LonelyLoser93 3
Lol love that movie nice reference! :)
rycmurray 5
Thats just hilarious haha!
abrookec2011 14
Coming from the Schizomaniac.
knick64 7
Your my hero
jackii1313 9
At least you admit you have a problem and are getting help! That's two steps closer to getting better(: maybe you should see a male therapist though, it might just help!
LadyGore 12
First step to recovery is accepting you have a problem. How does that make you feel?
Airman1988 9
I see the making of a future lady staulker
mega20913 8
I think he kinda is already
cis1den 0
Take one penis at night & call me in the morning..>
mario2012 18
Joke fail.
cis1den 0
~ That's exactly what your mother told your father right before Sex!
Pre_Damed 3
I don't think they provide the type of help you need at a regular therapist. Two words; Mental institution.
flockz 20
or: Mute Colony.