Today, my paranoia got so bad that I had to physically restrain myself from aggressively confronting the kid walking behind me on the sidewalk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML
Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML
Today, I was walking to the optometrist when I saw my creepy stalker following me. The entire shopping centre then sounded the alarm, so the rail was half down. Desperate to get away from my stalker, I turned around and walked out the store and hit my head on the rail in front of the employee. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Today, I bullied a kid at school, just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, I got pushed around by several suspicious mothers in a playground. I just wanted to sit down and rest my feet while I waited for my wife to finish her shopping across the street. FML
Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I suggest therapy. You might do something you'll regret if you don't get help.
Weiss729 6
I don't say this to be mean but maybe you should get help? Life might turn around and be a whole lot better if you do
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Comments (91)
justmeCee 16
I suggest you call your local mental health crisis line to get in to see a doctor so you can get on meds, OP. I hope you feel better soon.
TIRiIPIPiN 6
That's pretty bad. I know what paranoia feels like and it really is a big pain. Like others have suggested, therapy.
FR05TY 9
Your sense of security is false, all through out the day, they watch. During you slumber, they watch. During your meals, they watch. You cannot escape the piercing eyes that watch intently at all you do. Even now, they are watching, waiting.
Masonator28 9
That was me!! WTF
YeahYeahYeahOK 6
No more red phos for you...
DocPsycho 8
I feel you OP. Vet with PTSD. Also, I tend to slow way down or take random unnecessary turns...
greggly123 6
Lol that's awesome
blackonblight 33
In high school I 'jokingly' warned people never to sneak up or walk too closely behind me because I would Batman-backhand them. Everyone laughed until the first time someone nearly got hit. Your Lizard brain doesn't care about higher thoughts, it just wants that thing behind you gone. Hypervigilance is no fun. I'm guessing you don't actually mean paranoia in the clinical sense but the generic, not thinking anyone is actively after you but aware of potential dangers of every situation. I know that one. I have a good suede jacket I wear whenever I go out which is thick and tight enough on my back to calm some of the need to keep my back to a wall. But if someone were behind me closer than six feet for more than a minute, I'd divert path and let them pass.