Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after my neighbor asked me to water her plants while she was away, and I carefully followed her instructions for 6 days, she came home. She stared at the living room and asked why I'd watered the fake plants but forgotten the real ones on the balcony. FML
Today, my mother brought over some early Christmas presents for me and the kids. The kid's presents were fine, mine however consisted of many yard accessories, including solar lights. I live in an apartment building with no yard. Her response? "Buy a potted plant and shove them in there." FML
Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML
Today, at my job of two months, I'd taken it upon myself to water the plants around the office every day since they all looked a little sad. My boss then asked why so many of the fake plants were getting mouldy. My co-workers had watched me water plastic plants for two months and nobody bothered to tell me. FML
Today, after I agreed to water my friend's plants while she was on vacation, she'd given me very specific instructions for each one, so I made a schedule and followed it carefully. When she came home, she stared at the plants and asked why her cactus was sitting in a bowl of water. I'd read the wrong line on the schedule all week. FML
Today, my mom saw me holding a plant and told me to walk around with it, to replace all of the oxygen I waste. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML
Today, in the middle of a localised drought, and an accompanying hosepipe ban, my mother has decided that she still needs to water her lawn. To balance out the water usage, she's placed a complete ban on the use of our shower until the weather lets up. FML
Today, the plant I bought for my apartment a few weeks ago started looking worse. I'd followed the care instructions carefully, so I asked my neighbor for advice. She pointed out that the plastic pot was still inside the decorative pot, so the water had nowhere to drain. FML
Today, my friends and family staged an intervention for me. Of course, I assumed it was a result of my raging alcoholism. Nope. It was due to my obsession with buying plants. They were deadly serious. FML
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Top comments
xxsarahfxx 6
Always listen to your mother ! :)
FUGYU 2
Just be lucky you didn't pick up her genetics, hopefully.
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Comments (148)
ivyelizabeth 0
she's a bright one:D
izzy7 11
If my mother were that big of an idiot I would have thrown the dirt at her and watered her. Although, that might have been an insult to the plants, including the fake ones.
Person1233 13
Start watering her boobs...
randiZ25 0
I sir, like your thought process.. ^^
aardvarkish 17
**** works better on fake ones.
randiZ25 0
just to piss you off..^
loveisabitch10 0
…………………...„„-~^^~„-„„_ ………………„-^*'' : : „'' : : : : *-„ …………..„-* : : :„„--/ : : : : : : : ' …………./ : : „-* . .| : : : : : : : : '| ……….../ : „-* . . . | : : : : : : : : | ………...„-* . . . . .| : : : : : : : :'| ……….../ . . . . . . '| : : : : : : : :| ……..../ . . . . . . . .' : : : : : : : | ……../ . . . . . . . . . . : : : : : : :| ……./ . . . . . . . . . . . ' : : : : : / ….../ . . . . . . . . . . . . . *-„„„„-*' ….'/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '| …/ . . . . . . . ./ . . . . . . .| ../ . . . . . . . .'/ . . . . . . .'| ./ . . . . . . . . / . . . . . . .'| '/ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'| '| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .| '| . . . . . . „_^- „ . . . . .'| '| . . . . . . . . .' . ./ '/ . | | . . . . . . . . . . .'' / . '| | . . . . . . . . . . / .'/ . . .| | . . . . . . .| . . / ./ ./ . .| My big dick brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its bigger than yours, damn right its bigger than yours, You can touch it, but I have to charge My big dick brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its bigger than yours, damn right its bigger than yours, I can poke you, but I have to charge I know you want it, deep inside your throat, what the guys go crazy for. They lose their lunch, cause I make them gag, I think its hot la la-la la la, feel it up. la la-la la la, my dick is waiting la la-la la la, feel it up. la la-la la la, my dick is waiting My big dick brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its bigger than yours, damn right its bigger than yours, You can touch it, but I have to charge My big dick brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its bigger than yours, damn right its bigger than yours, I can poke you, but I have to charge Please hop right on it, you want me to get hard creampie facials god! it won't get soft, just know, i ram it hard, scream "stop" if your smart, la la-la la la, feel it up, la la-la la la, my dick is waiting, la la-la la la, feel it up, la la-la la la, my dick is waiting, My big dick brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its bigger than yours, damn right its bigger than yours, You can touch it, but I have to charge My big dick brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, its bigger than yours, damn right its bigger than yours, I can poke you, but I have to charge
sourgirl101 29
Those fake ones collect a lot of dust and you can tell they are not real that way. Maybe watering means washing in her mind. I hope your mom's not that crazy.
Imgonnahaveabf 9
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to Dr. Dre for a boob job.
kjcscp 0
my mom thinks the same thing.