Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, my mom made my favorite dessert, a pudding. For some reason, she decided to put strawberries in it. She knows I’m allergic to strawberries. She said, “Stop bitching. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it then. Problem solved.” FML
Today, a coworker left a chocolate cake on the "free food" table in the office. I had a slice. She's just called to ask if she left her grandmother's birthday cake at work. She made it from scratch. Now I'm baking a new cake in the office kitchen. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML
Today, after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage, she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML
Today, I got my mom (who is a diabetic) a set of sugar-free chocolates for Mother's Day. Everything was fine on that day, and my mom decided to share them since I bought a good sized box. I was perfectly fine, but my mom had explosive diarrhea for the rest of the day. I'll never buy THOSE again. FML
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Top comments
sarahperez_fml 12
She must hate you a lot.
JasonUMN 15
Every desert was chocolate? I'll be right back, I have a trip to the Sahara scheduled.
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Comments (181)
foxy_grampa 19
Well that sucks. She must not care for you very much. You should make something that she doesn't like the next time you have her over! Remember, revenge is a dish best served cold
Osyx 20
This is totally going to be the new "Monster-in-Law"
BadApple88 29
B.Y.O.D- Bring your own dessert
Ziggyboo 10
I'm guessing that the MiL didn't inform OP that everything would be chocolate, and that OP should bring their own dessert.
Jarthur14 2
Must have been very sandy...
mandafager 32
She made desert? Are you sure she didn't make dessert?
UrYousername 15
How does one create a desert?
ImTheAlpha 30
Lots of sand/rock, very little rainfall, hot days/cold nights, etc. That only applies to a hot desert, though. For cold deserts(Antarctica, Gobi, etc.), you need, rock, snow, very little rainfall, and cold days and very cold nights. *woosh* Hey, what was that?
touch_phobia 13
then don't eat the chocolate? I don't see too much of a problem here- though I guess if you kiss your boyfriend after, you might blow up like a balloon!
Myo_fml 20
My bf is allergic to peanuts so just to be on the safe side, I totally cut them out of my life just to be safe so I don't slip up and kill him.
Sweetpea22 14
Or...OP will go into anaphylactic shock and die
cryssycakesx3 23
"Today my wife died. How you ask? Chocolate. FML."
cryssycakesx3 23
my thought exactly 20. for some reason it's a pity party for OP...
Sweetpea22 14
Are you naturally this stupid? Anaphylaxis can kill someone.
Hathor_fml 4
dessert*
AlaskanG 27
She sounds like such a joy to be around.
luckyone365 7
It's dessert not desert. God, what happened to the English language?
NoOneLovesYou 13
Actually English did not originally have standardized spellings. What happened? It was changed. Shame that the new system allows for assholes like you to flip out every time a mistake is made. Heaven forbid!
chocolatefrog28 29
All those "death by chocolate" recipes she has lying around take on a whole new meaning, eh?