Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, my mom made my favorite dessert, a pudding. For some reason, she decided to put strawberries in it. She knows I’m allergic to strawberries. She said, “Stop bitching. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it then. Problem solved.” FML
Today, a coworker left a chocolate cake on the "free food" table in the office. I had a slice. She's just called to ask if she left her grandmother's birthday cake at work. She made it from scratch. Now I'm baking a new cake in the office kitchen. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML
Today, after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage, she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML
Today, I got my mom (who is a diabetic) a set of sugar-free chocolates for Mother's Day. Everything was fine on that day, and my mom decided to share them since I bought a good sized box. I was perfectly fine, but my mom had explosive diarrhea for the rest of the day. I'll never buy THOSE again. FML
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Top comments
sarahperez_fml 12
She must hate you a lot.
JasonUMN 15
Every desert was chocolate? I'll be right back, I have a trip to the Sahara scheduled.
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Comments (181)
AlexCanada77 13
Have a conversation with your partner to keep her away from you.
blurryface_fml 16
someone wants you dead
PsudoAnon 20
This could be shortened to, "I'm deathly allergic to chocolate. FML"
stellasue11 38
What a bitch! Does she know you are allergic???
IThriveWithYourPain 14
She is trying to kill you! Kill her before she kills you it is very simple wait for a night when your father isn't home and she is asleep and KILL HER use a very precise razor sharp blade so that it is a clean cut so little bits of her don't get everywhere and then use bleach to mop up the blood then dismember and dispose of the body in as deep a grave as possible in the nearest forest or swamp and you may need extra hands for the burial so find her enemies who want her dead and join forces with them and make sure to be home before anybody might come looking. if she has a car drive it as far away as possible into the most derelict isolated place possible and torch it (you will need a ride back though, I recommend from one of her enemies)