Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML
Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML
Today, I cooked for the future in-laws and was accused of trying to poison them. Absolutely no one told me, even as they watched me cook shrimp and smoked sausage gumbo, that my mother-in-law is deathly allergic to shellfish and my father-in-law gets severe diarrhoea when he eats pork. FML
Today, I tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, but as soon as I started, my mom rushed into the kitchen and criticized me for making it "wrong". She then made the sandwich for me. It tasted significantly worse than when I make them. FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML
Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
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Top comments
nyancait 18
Just so everybody knows, 'mother in law' is an anagram of 'woman Hitler'. Take from that what you will.
Vanubo 10
You could call that Verbal As-salt
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Comments (74)
badblaby 8
I'm gonna guess that you're young and intimidated by her, and scared of confrontation and offending her? F that. Stand up for yourself. If you don't have kids yet imagine how she will try to control things then. Nip this in the bud now.
communisttaco 16
Better NaCl than MgCl.
maaandymars 9
Is she a Winchester?
lina21 12
Sounds like a mother in law who's looking for something to complain about
draokc 9
ouch
allplayedout 20
This is why I chase all "volunteers" out of my kitchen unless they're performing a specific task designated by me. MY dinner, MY rules. No way I would've kept my mouth shut if she'd ruined my dish while my back was turned, either. Chef can't handle that.
mattyiscool123 26
What a hypocrite
worldclassrager 41
Try Mrs Dash it has no salt
jeragonm 15
Very nice username!
iamthunder 4
smack that bitch!