Today, my friend started his first day of work with me. I thought it'd be fun, but he's been putting on an obnoxious fake French accent and saying "merde" whenever anything goes wrong. Half the women at the office want his dick, and I'm still as single as ever. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while working alone, I decided to just try some random impressions, and so I ended up doing a French accent when a customer walked in. To avoid embarrassment, I had to continue faking the accent as he struck up a long conversation with me. FML
Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML
Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting, and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML
Today, I work as an executive assistant. My French boss wanted to do business with a big American customer, so he sent her an email suggesting a meeting. He copied me so that I could arrange said meeting. He had written, "Have your ass talk to my ass." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
figgit70 7
Maybe you could try to get a video of him talking in his normal accent and show it to your coworkers.
yoshithecat 15
It's better to be single and true to yourself than a person faking being a Frenchie...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (93)
figgit70 7
Maybe you could try to get a video of him talking in his normal accent and show it to your coworkers.
badminton 14
It's worth a shot
Ihavegas 22
don't be hater, yeah he's fake but he will slip up eventually. who knows he might set you up aswell.
spidey_awesome 14
why ruin a friendship plus the coworkers might think the way he normally talks is an accent
yoshithecat 15
It's better to be single and true to yourself than a person faking being a Frenchie...
DoctorRoche 11
Nothing worse than Frenchies. Their flag should be White they wave it so much.
chickenfeet223 11
Hard to be real in desperate times. Stay real
\ 28
If the women fall for him simply because he speaks with a fake French accent, I doubt they're safe to screw.
ohcheriecherie 20
I doubt the accent is the only reason they like him. he's probably good looking, or charming or something.
junkman6 22
No it's probably just the accent. I used to do it when I was stationed in Hawaii. I do a passable Irish accent and it got me laid plenty of times all by itself. I dunno why but a lot of women just go crazy for accents.
Nymeria_fml 25
Sooooo, #59, are you admitting you're not handsome/funny/smart/charming/whatever? Just the fake accent? Well, that's... nice for you, I guess.
domolovesyoshi 33
true
ztress 10
Or just a Frenchie
Cbizzlez 10
I mean if it bothers you that much you could call his bullshit... Honestly is probably more than just the accent though.
lonewolf621 17
Try putting on a Texan accent.
cakefete2 31
You know... cuz everything's bigger. ;)
tifdunc 14
when you're a n*gger. It rhymed so I had to say it.
cartoonboy 26
You're damn right
_parth 20
Proud texan!!
EvilLittleMan 23
The stars at night are big and bright Deep in the heart of Texas ...but I think Pee Wee is still looking for the basement.
cmac86 24
tequila! now I've got the face of mad Maude or marge or whatever her name was stuck in my head. that was creepy.
yzzami 17
Should he say "spy 'round here" as well?
josh7279 7
Don't be THAT friend and ruin your friend from getting some ass.
Nordrag 26
Always be that friend when your friend is being stupid and fake.
EnderWolf1013 9
Call bullshit on him in front of the girls.
ironichalibut 24
Ask him what a tabernacle is.
Futacy 30
I wouldn't say that sucks for you, but that's good for your friend. Maybe you're just a little jelly.
kasa360 2
What's there to be jelly of? I mean, his "friend" is only a fake accent (based on information given in the post). If all it takes is the accent, then that's a woman I'd avoid. I might be sick and tired of being single, heck I'd rather remain alone rather than get some because of an accent. It's low, sick low, the one and only flag you'd get for it would be "player" that is if your aim was to get some, which it sounds to be.
cook4money 9
Is it the accent that bothers you, or the fact that the girls are attracted to him?
Nordrag 26
Probably both. maybe the girls are all over him because of the accent? and the fact that its fake makes the situation all that much more frustrating
Nymeria_fml 25
I don't know, OP. Maybe your friend, apart from faking a French accent is funny, smart and nice. And you're just a whiner. Could explain the "single" part.
SweetasCandy0609 28
don't worry about OP he's new so the women just see him as fresh meat I'm sure they will get over quickly and I think eventually he will slip up on the accent.