Today, my mother gave my daughter a behavior chart. I noticed that "drinking beer" was at the top of one of the columns. It's a chart for my daughter to use on me so my mother can judge my parenting skills. I am currently losing a sticker right now for being on the computer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, my daughter asked me if we could make sticker art. Of course I said it was OK so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML
Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
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Top comments
damnwtfdude 0
YDI if you actually put up with this. Discipline your daughter and get your mother in line. You're the big girl now.
repyourcliche 0
lol get off then think of all the stickers you'll lose when she finds the cocaine... oh shit, dude sorry
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Comments (143)
Kylias 6
"Currently losing a sticker right now"? Welcome to the Committee of Redundancy Committee!
CitizenSnipz 0
Umm, plz tell my you meant to say comittee twice.
pegasus77 0
Redundancy- the use of words or data that could be omitted without loss of meaning or function; repetition or superfluity of information. So yes, they meant to say it twice
vetter_fml 0
Send your mom flowers and apologize for whatever it is you did that made her hate you enough to completely disembowel your position with your daughter.
m15m 0
what did u do to piss your mom off?!
angrynegro7 16
Piss her mom off?!?!?!? Did it occur to you that OP's mother MIGHT be a bitch?!
polico_wolf 0
Dont listen to them, they're one of those people who think like "People dont do bad things out of the blue, so you must have done something out of the blue".
EV34 6
if I were u I wud ground my daughter for going along with her grandmas nonsense
IDigSmartLadies 0
YDI. Your mom cuts this shit out or loses the ability to see your daughter aside from a once-monthly hour with the two of you at McDonald's. Put your big girl panties on and grow a pair.
angrynegro7 16
I hope you're being sarcastic...
angrynegro7 16
sorry this comment was meant for #35
vetter_fml 0
I don't think that the OP's mother couldn't possibly just be a bitch. But I also think that the OP couldn't be entirely innocent. Maybe if it was her mother in law...but...
CitizenSnipz 0
I hope you're not serious.
CitizenSnipz 0
You worded it so you basicly said she was a bitch. Just an FYI :/ but I agree. AG's jumping to conclusions.
perdix 31
Tell your mom the more beers you drink, the more grandkids she'll get!
girlygirl666 0
Nice! Perdix.
USBAIL 0
Thats freakn hilarious !!
Whyme8P 0
then get the damn off¡
talikarni 0
unless it is something you agree with, toss that chart... that is part of this liberal socialist agenda of undermining parents where kids think they have the right to do what they want, including talk back and criticize their parents.... sounds like someones mother got suckered in by liberal wacko thought process
tisiphone_fml 0
Very few people are actually crazy enough to think that little kids should be in charge of *anything* but their homework and chores. OP needs to stick up for herself!
CitizenSnipz 0
heh, you should've said STICKER up for herself!